Many people believe that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on society and individual to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, some
people
argued
that social media Wrong verb form
argue
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
bringing
formidable danger Wrong verb form
bring
on
society and Change preposition
to
individuals
.I am partly agree
with Change the verb form
partly agree
this
this
point of view and we should look at both Remove the redundancy
apply
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
as well as
a negative side
to draw Fix the agreement mistake
sides
the
conclusion.
On Correct article usage
a
one
hand,Correct article usage
the one
from
the invention of mobile phones and computer, the usage of Change preposition
since
the
gadgets Correct article usage
apply
is
Verb problem
has
increasing
tremendously, with Wrong verb form
increased
this
the facilities of social networking sites has also
taken the boom from
Change preposition
in
last
few years. Correct article usage
the last
However
, the facilities provide good communication between the persons
and Replace the word
people
brought
the world together. Wrong verb form
bring
For example
, with the help of Facebook,people
from any countries
can communicate with each Fix the agreement mistake
country
others
without any fences.Change to a singular noun
other
Moreover
, by efficient use of this
site's
individual can Change noun form
site
also
enhance their knowledge by learning new language
, understanding different cultures, and many more. Not only the social networking sites have a positive impact, but Fix the agreement mistake
languages
also
they provide
some gloomy Verb problem
have
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
also
on society and Rephrase
apply
peoples
.
Fix the agreement mistake
people
On the other hand
, as
social networking sites provide better communication, but it contains some negative impact Correct word choice
apply
such
as people
uses
Wrong verb form
using
this
site
to communicate with other people
, but they cannot communicate with their family and friends properly as they spend more time on the computer and cell phones. Also
, the ability of creativity is lost by the
Correct article usage
apply
individuals
. In addition
, this
kind of site
also
lessens the concentration power of the individuals
. Furthermore
, people
may face lots of problems and can also
suffer from depression and anxiety, due more
usage of Change preposition
to more
this
site
.
In conclusion,my take on this
is individuals
should use mobile phones directly and wisely,limit their times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
spending
on surfing social Wrong verb form
spent
platform
and Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
settel
ur time to balance family and Correct your spelling
settle
entertaining
,we Replace the word
entertainment
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
addicted
to mobile devices Add a missing verb
be addicted
instead
of spending time for familySubmitted by lychieuxien on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a basic structure but can benefit from more careful planning. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be stronger. Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea which is expanded with support.
Task Response
The essay needs to provide a more comprehensive response to the task. It should offer a balanced view with clear, extended examples. Be careful with your position; if you partially agree, make sure to explore both sides equally throughout.