Topic: Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,many
people
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
to communicate and socialise with other
people
surrounding them.The main problems
this
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
are loneliness and not getting help in emergency situations,and the most viable solution is gathering in local
community
groups.
People
who are occupied in their private life only without any intentions to interact with other
people
living around them often
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
isolation.
This
is because not having any
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
and
chat
Wrong verb form
chatting
show examples
about common interests,not getting together and having fun with your neighbors can
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
loneliness and
this
have
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
effect on a
peron's
Correct your spelling
person's
mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.Another issue is those who do not have
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
to have
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
and socialise with their neighbors are less likely to participate in urgent circumstances.As
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
do not inform the person near them about their situations or do not have any awareness about others ,they are neither get aid nor give any support in emergency situations.
Foe
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
example,as
Heart
Correct article usage
a Heart
show examples
Attack can happen at any
time
people
in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
conditions can struggle alone until the ambulance
arrive
Change the verb form
arrives
show examples
. To tackle
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
people
should designate strict periods for local
community
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
.
This
is to say that
people
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
live in
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
would decide
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on a day and
time
to assemble.
This
could be weekends and would help
people
to know each other,
share
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
their interests and experiences.
This
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
a person to relax and recuperate from pressures and exhaustion accumulated in the past days.Local
community
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
also
give a chance for
people
to know each other and share their private concerns with the person next door to get support in urgent times.
For example
,in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
during
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
epidemic
Add a comma
epidemic,
show examples
many
people
were compassionate and helped those
people
with health problems in shopping and other things. In conclusion,not having
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
time
between private life and relationships with the
people
around you can affect your emotional and physical health negatively,and the best solution is to have designated
time
to participate in your local
community
group.
Submitted by abi911 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into paragraphs with distinct themes, and make sure transitions between them are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that clearly address the topic and the task. The introductory paragraph should set the context and state the problems, while the conclusion should summarize your points and restate your solutions effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific details and examples. Each idea should be thoroughly explained and should have evidence or illustrations to substantiate it.
task achievement
Make sure you respond completely to all parts of the task. Address both the problems and solutions to the issue of people not knowing their neighbors in large cities. Your ideas should be fully developed and you should remain on topic throughout the essay.
task achievement
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to clearly convey your message without causing confusion.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This demonstrates to the reader that you understand the topic deeply and increases the strength of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: