Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In the 21st century, construction industries are ever-increasing. Some people argue that
,
old Remove the comma
apply
structures
and homes in towns have to be demolished and new buildings
need to be erected, while
others hold the view that such
buildings
should be protected. Both sides of this
argument will be analyzed before a conclusion is made.
On the one hand, according
some individuals, Add the preposition
according to
Correct article usage
the construction
construction
of new Correct article usage
the construction
buildings
has brought Correct pronoun usage
apply
us
many benefits to Correct pronoun usage
apply
modern
world. Add an article
the modern
For example
, these buildings
are designed in such
a way that they are resilient to Correct your spelling
severe
sevier
natural disasters Correct your spelling
severe
such
as earthquakes and flooding. Consequently
, the people who live inside will be protected in bad weather conditions. On top of that, most of these constructions adopt sustainability throughout its
operating life. Correct pronoun usage
their
Hence
, energy can be utilized well in latest
premises. Correct article usage
the latest
But
old constructions are more prone to Correct word choice
However
collapses
and take valuable lives of occupants in natural disasters. Wrong verb form
collapse
Therefore
, experts suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
to remove
those Change the verb form
removing
structures
to ensure the safety of the
society.
Meanwhile, there is another group who believes thatCorrect article usage
apply
,
past Remove the comma
apply
structures
must be preserved. The underlying reason for this
is, these
Correct word choice
that these
buildings
represent the nation's uniqueness in construction technology in ancient time
. Fix the agreement mistake
times
By securing
them will build some Change preposition
Securing
path ways
for the country to showcase the precious history they had and that makes foreigners Correct your spelling
pathways
to
travel Fix the infinitive
apply
into
the country. Change preposition
to
For instance
, take the Eiffel tower
, even though Capitalize word
Tower
is
it is very old so many people come to see it from various countries. Unnecessary verb
apply
More
the structure Correct article usage
The more
get
older the value of it will be increased. Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
This
shows why some are against the destruction of aged structures
.
In summary, it is clear that
both sides have strong grounds for their views. however
in my opinion, aged erections should be conserved because there are Add a comma
however,
long term
advantages to mankind. Meanwhile, Add a hyphen
long-term
latest
creations Correct article usage
the latest
also
should be built in suitable locations.Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific modern buildings that are known for their sustainability or resilience to natural disasters.
task achievement
Ensure clarity by refining some of the sentences. For instance, instead of "these buildings are designed in such a way that they are resilient to severe natural disasters," you could say, "modern buildings are designed to withstand severe natural disasters."
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. For example, use more transitional words and phrases to guide the reader from one point to another, such as "However" or "On the other hand."
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your discussion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, ensuring a balanced view.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!