IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views

#countries #companies #people #work #home #office
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Nowadays, a hybrid working environment has become a popular method of working in most organisations. But still, some
business
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 organisations are there. Expect their
employees
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 should report to the
office
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 daily basis and in some companies they are allowing their people to work virtually. In my opinion, working in an
office
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 is the best option to select and the following will emphasise my opinion
as well as
Linking Words
 discuss both views. Under the option of working remotely, a few advantages can be identified. If
employees
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 are expecting to maintain a better work-life balance, a flexible workplace is the most suitable for them. Most of the workers have different types of commitments. Some of them are looking at their parents
while
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 working and others have to look after their children’s education and development. Considering all of these facts working from is a favourable working environment for people who have additional commitments. Apart from that, a virtual working culture will be more beneficial to any kind of institution from an operational cost point of view since they don’t want to maintain a workplace physically to run their operations and
this
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 may lead to a reduction in the fixed cost of the
business
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 and favourable impact to the operating profits as well. Compared to working online, physical working will be more advantageous for some
business
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 organisations. Some firms are there in certain territories, they want to monitor their
employees
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 physically and evaluate their performance
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In
this
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 scenario working at an
office
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 place will be the easiest way for employers to supervise and guide their staff.
In addition
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 to that, some
business
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 entities believe, that physical attraction among their
employees
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 is the most effective way to make decisions
instead
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 of having meetings via technological platforms because people and stay hide without stating their own opinions during online meetings. In conclusion, both views of virtual and physical working have different sets of advantages and disadvantages in the modern
business
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 world.
However
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 working in an
office
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 is the best option that any kind of
business
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 organization can select to run their operations smoothly and efficiently.
Submitted by tnirmani94 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introductory statement that clearly outlines your position or what you will discuss. Ensure that the introduction is strong and sets the tone for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
The essay presented multiple views but did not always clearly distinguish between them. It is important to separate each view into its own dedicated paragraph, ensuring they are well-developed with clear topic sentences followed by supporting details.
supported main points
Though you presented main points relating to the benefits of home and office work, some ideas were not fully supported or exemplified. Aim to provide specific examples or data to substantiate each main point as this strengthens the argument.
complete response
The response to the task is adequate, however, it does not fulfill the prompt completely. Your essay should aim to address all parts of the question with a balanced discussion and a clear position throughout.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some ideas are outlined but need to be expanded upon for clarity and depth. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is clearly defined and thoroughly explored.
relevant specific examples
While you referred to relevant topics, the use of specific, relevant examples was lacking. Including real-world examples, case studies, or hypothetical situations can greatly enhance the essay's effectiveness and impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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