IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information on the salaries of secondary teachers in five countries in 2009.

The table below gives information on the salaries of secondary teachers in five countries in 2009.
#information #salaries #teachers #five #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at a table provided reveals the amount of secondary and
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 lectures
wages
Use synonyms
 range,counted in
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
,in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,Luxembourg offered the highest
incomes
Use synonyms
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Denmark was the nation which achieved the top salary the fastest and
also
Linking Words
 had a negative relation compared to Japan. As for lecturer’s
wages
Use synonyms
 in Luxembourg,
this
Linking Words
 nation offered the highest salary range
launching
Verb problem
starting
show examples
 from 80 .After
15-year
Add an article
a 15-year
show examples
 period of
time
Use synonyms
,their
incomes
Use synonyms
 grew to 119 and reached the maximum
wages
Use synonyms
 after 30
years
Use synonyms
.With respect to that of Denmark,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 was the nation achieving the top
incomes
Use synonyms
 the fastest with only 8
years
Use synonyms
,and
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 salary promotion was negligible with exactly 9.
However
Linking Words
,even after 15
years
Use synonyms
 of devotion,employees there would still maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homogenous
incomes
Use synonyms
 at 54 without any changes. Regarding
lecturer’s
Change noun form
lecturers’
show examples
incomes
Use synonyms
 in
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 and
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 they had a slightly uniform initial point,they different in levels of growth and
also
Linking Words
 in the
time
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
 the maximum
wages
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the former climbed up sharply from 34 to 86 after
37-year
Add an article
a 37-year
show examples
 period of
time
Use synonyms
,the latter began from precisely 30 and after 34
years
Use synonyms
,it would as twice as much
that
Change preposition
as that
show examples
 initial point.With regard to Australia,it was the country
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
 the most insignificant starting
wages
Use synonyms
 at 28 and
also
Linking Words
 the least noticeable maximum
wages
Use synonyms
 at 48 after
9-year
Add an article
a 9-year
show examples
 period of
time
Use synonyms
 of devotion.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words wages, incomes, time, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: