While studying some students take weekend or evening jobs to help with expenditure. How do you feel about this? What are the drawbacks and benefits of such a decision? What is your view? Give reasons for your answer.

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In
this
contemporary epoch, it is commonly observed that to cover the major expenses, most young students participate in jobs either during the evening or on weekends.
This
essay will delve into the various advantages
as well as
disadvantages of
such
activities.
To begin
with, the major benefit of
this
scenario is that it encourages the feeling of self-esteem and focus in youngsters. They would get a feeling of being responsible at an early age which is relentlessly vital for their bright future.
Moreover
, money management is an enormously vital skill that could be achieved
while
working part-time when an individual is a scholar in college or university. They can earn little and fulfil their basic expenses.
However
, working in different part-time jobs
while
studying might affect the studies in an adverse manner. It could lead to some poor repercussions
such
as lower grades
due to
lack of concentration.
Furthermore
, part-time earnings might provide the wrong trajectory to students because they may probably use that income for purchasing drugs because they do not get money from their guardians for
such
purposes. In my opinion, it is excellent to work during the studies because it helps to maintain some common expenses of scholars which act as an extreme help for parents.
Therefore
, it helps to reduce the levels of stress among the community members as they realize that their kids are grown up and ready to take
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
responsibilities.
To conclude
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that there are immense pros and cons of working
while
studying.
Besides
, its positive effects outweigh its negative ones.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt effectively, providing both advantages and disadvantages of students working while studying, it would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are logically sequenced to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
The introduction sets the stage well by clearly stating the topic and giving a preview of what the essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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