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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart depicts information about
Use synonyms
museum’s
Change noun form
museum
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 attendance trends in four international
museums
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 from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
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 and Vatican
Museums
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 witnessed positive growth
of
Change preposition
in
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visitors
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,
while
Linking Words
London
Correct article usage
the London
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 Science
Museum
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 and Shenzhen
Museums
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 reserve (steady or negative) trend for over 35
years
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
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 had approximately two
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 higher
visitors
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 (around 8 million
visitors
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) annually in the initial period than
three
Correct article usage
the three
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 other
museums
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the first ten
years
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, the Louvre and Vatican
Museums
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 experienced positive growth and continued
to
Change preposition
for
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 the following five
years
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.The Louvre’s attendance slightly increased from 1990 to 1995 period before declining
in
Change preposition
from
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 1995 to 2000. The
number
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 of
visitors
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 steadily springing to the
last
Linking Words
 period with almost 10 million
visitors
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 each year. Meanwhile, from the year of 1995, people who attended Vatican
Museums
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 dramatically surged and reached its peak in 2015 at approximately 10 million
visitors
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. Yet, in the first five
years
Use synonyms
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 steadily maintained the
number
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 of
visitors
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,
however
Linking Words
, the attendance at Shenzhen
Museum
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 slightly decreased.
The
Change preposition
In the
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 following 15
years
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, the two
museums
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 shared
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 growth trend with a small
number
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 of changes. From the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of Shenzhen
Museum
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's
visitors
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 rose to the initial
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the London Science
Museum
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 plummeted to its lowest point.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museums, visitors, museum, years, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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