Some people think it is very good idea to bring your family when travelling overseas for work or study reasons. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage and give your opinion
When moving to a new country, an individual must consider family impact. Choosing to travel with family contains potential benefits and drawbacks.
This
essay argues that bringing family includes
more positives Rephrase
together includes
such
as eliminating homesickness and providing opportunities, but some negatives exist such
as expense and distraction.
Traveling
with children to work or study overseas opportunity holds some benefits. Family companionship can alleviate both homesickness and offer valuable education chances. Change the spelling
Travelling
For example
, an uncle moved to America, family in tow, and resided effortlessly due to
their presence. Moving on to the point of education, very often undeveloped countries offer limited university studies; however
, in the United States, a traveling
foreign worker can provide his teenage daughter Change the spelling
travelling
hundreds
of options.
After considering the advantages, the drawbacks now merit some meaningful discussion. Not only is family presence expensive but Change preposition
with hundreds
also
a potentially humongous distraction. Foreign workers often matriculate from vastly cheaper countries than the USA, so bringing along includes an expectation to pay 4 to 5 times to support them. Besides
, families cause distraction; for example
, misbehaving children or emotional wives could lead to a foreign employee performing substandard work.
In general, family inclusion presents the best option. Yes, distractions and expenses will occur, but the educational benefits to children and the spouse outweigh those two negatives. The best recommendation is to bring them whenever possible. To do otherwise
invites irreparable harm to the family and the individual worker.
To conclude
, foreign works
must weigh all available options, but considering the advice above,the proper choice becomes more evident. Replace the word
workers
This
essay acknowledges the presence of particular circumstances all workers embody.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction provided a clear overview of the essay's direction, and you adequately summarized your points in the conclusion. However, you should work on more cleanly transitioning from one idea to the next, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are directly addressing the task. The introduction should clearly state the advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion should provide a definitive stance based on the discussion.
task achievement
The main points of your discussion are supported, but they lack convincing examples. The example of the uncle is too vague. Implement more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and fully develop your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay should discuss both sides of the argument in a balanced way. While you have attempted this, the disadvantages need more development to fully satisfy the task requirement.
task achievement
Be mindful of the clarity and complexity of your ideas. The ideas should be readily understood by the reader and should demonstrate a range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?