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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about UK independent films.

The table below gives information about UK independent films.
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The table illustrates information about
themutlifarious
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the multifarious
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geners
Correct your spelling
genres
 of the
independence
Capitalize word
Independence
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 movies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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released in the UK which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 included genre,
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
releses
Correct your spelling
releases
, percentage of all releases
amd
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and
 percentage of income from ticket
sales
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
documentary
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 and
drama
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generes
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genres
 were highest released
while
Linking Words
 biopic was the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one,
in contrast
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
sales
Use synonyms
 in the
drama
Use synonyms
genere
Correct your spelling
genre
. The table shows that
documentary
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 and
drama
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
geners
Correct your spelling
genres
 were the highest
amount
Change the noun form
amounts
show examples
 of released
ans
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and
 same amount of
released
Change the form of the verb
release
show examples
, which is 35. Comedy kinds of
cinima
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cinema
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the second largest
release
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, at 26
while
Linking Words
 horror and thriller
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geners
Correct your spelling
genres
 were, which was 14 and 13 respectively. Other varieties of movies were released under the 10 numbers only.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
Drama
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 and
documentary
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 had the highest of all
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release
Fix the agreement mistake
releases
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to other
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geners
Correct your spelling
genres
, at 23.6
while
Linking Words
 there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second largest of all
Use synonyms
release
Fix the agreement mistake
releases
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 comedy, which
was17.6
Correct your spelling
was 17.6
%.
Biopic
Add an article
The biopic
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 was the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
Use synonyms
release
Replace the word
released
show examples
, for accounted 0.7 only.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
sales
Use synonyms
 by the comedy
genere
Correct your spelling
genre
, at 45.4%, surprisingly, the horror movie's
sales
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 ratio was placed
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second,
Linking Words
which was 20.2%,
similary
Correct your spelling
similarly
similar
,
drama
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 and
documentary
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 both these
gener's
Correct your spelling
genre's
sales
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 decreased as compared to the released number. for accounted 8,3 mad 2.9 percent respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words geners, sales, documentary, drama, release with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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