IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Vrite at least 150 words.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Vrite at least 150 words.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #vrite
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The graph gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
Change preposition
on that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 proportion of households
use
Correct pronoun usage
that use
show examples
 electrical products in terms of 3 different ways and results on how long
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
housework
Use synonyms
 spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 in a period of 99 years. It’s readily apparent that all electrical appliances became more popular,
in particular
Linking Words
 refrigerators and vacuum cleaners, The total time spent doing
housework
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 declined steadily and dramatically in the
last
Linking Words
 one hundred years. In 1920,
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 washing machine was , more regular,
whereas
Linking Words
 vacuum cleaner was just 1%, and
refrigerator
Add an article
the refrigerator
show examples
 was 30%.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of refrigerator
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 dramatically in six decades,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
reached a peak,
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 appliances was a very large majority. In 2019, Households with refrigerators and vacuum cleaners
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 100%in
humans
Change the noun form
human
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 life,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
washing machine
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
less to be used about 65%.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
housework
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 from 1920 to 2019.
While
Linking Words
 people doing
housework
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances
instead
Linking Words
 of by themself, the proportion of these two data were completely trend
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
. In 1920, the percentage of
Use synonyms
housework
Add an article
the housework
show examples
 was under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half,
then
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20% in 1960,
until
Correct word choice
and until
show examples
 2019 the number was approximately 12%.
Submitted by andy8610181018 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words housework with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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