Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Concentrating at
school
is one of the
dispute
Change to a plural noun
disputes
show examples
for some
students
currently.
This
essay will suggest that the major problem caused by
this
issue is using
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
then
submit
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
on
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
as the most viable solution. The foremost problem caused by being unfocused at
school
is
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
to use
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
anytime. Nowadays almost 95 per cent of
pupils
have a mobile
phone
, where could be downloaded distractions
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of social media.
Furthermore
, most of the
students
are addicted to new technology and they try to find as much time as they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
to play. As can be expected, it bothers their focus since everything they think is only posting new TikTok. Equally, the atmosphere in the classroom
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
whether
pupils
can concentrate or not. It is obvious that it is hard to pay attention in a dark room without any new
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
.  One immediate practical solution is to prohibit kids
to bring
Change preposition
from bringing
show examples
their mobile phones to
school
and
limiting
Wrong verb form
limit
show examples
sitting
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media.
Likewise
, rooms should be
fulfilled
Verb problem
filled
show examples
with needed
tew
Correct your spelling
new
show examples
technologies to encourage
students
to learn and
this
issue could be solved by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
For instance
, the
school
for gifted
pupils
in Pavlodar restricted
to bring
Change preposition
from bringing
show examples
mobile phones to
school
, the alternative is that
pupils
who
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
to
school
, put them into the box before the lessons, and
instead
of using them they are being enticed with new technologies. It is a good illustration of
solution
Correct article usage
a solution
show examples
as
pupils
are not interested in phones anymore as they are fully focused on subjects in great conditions that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
proposed by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. In conclusion, there are several reasons why
students
have problems with focusing and one of them is being distracted by
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and having bad conditions in the classroom. Possible solutions are to ban bringing cellphones to
school
and the local government should invest in appropriate conditions at schools.
Submitted by d1dilnazka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be clearly distinguishable with your introduction outlining the problems and your conclusion summarizing your solutions. Both sections require more attention to clarity and detail.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a range of linking words and organize your ideas more clearly to increase coherence and cohesion within your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully answer the question by addressing both parts of the prompt in a balanced manner. While you have identified problems and solutions, more details and elaboration on these points could help enhance your task achievement score.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by going into greater depth for the reasons provided and the solutions offered. This will help make your essay clearer and more complete.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your ideas, but make sure they are elaborated on sufficiently to demonstrate a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: