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Band 3.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
It is a fact that
countries
 are the same nowadays because
people
 can purchase
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products
 in any area of the world.
Although
this
 might have some negative aspects, I believe
this
 is largely a positive development. On the one hand, becoming more and more similar can
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a negative effect on
countries
. If the
countries
 become similar, their culture will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fade over time.
Thus
, buying
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products
 anywhere can lead to the unification of
countries
 and unification will destroy cultural diversity.
For example
, each region has its own special clothes. If
people
 buy the same clothes, with the passage of time, no one wears local garments anymore
On the other hand
, buying similar
products
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some positive points.
Firstly
, for
people
 who are shopaholics and use trend
products
, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
products
 everywhere is a convenient way because they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not to go to different
countries
 to buy their needs.
For instance
, in the past,
people
 had to travel to advanced
countries
 to
got
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
 a product which was launched recently.
Secondly
, buying
products
 in the country has some
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits. It helps the country’s economic cycle and
this
 will support domestic producers. In conclusion,
Although
 the power of buying
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 things
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere can lead to the fading of a country’s culture and make similarity in the world, it is a positive point because
this
 could allow
people
 to have access to any
products
 they want easily and boost the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of
countries
.
Submitted by kk.1379 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas and maintain clear paragraphing throughout your essay. Connect your ideas more clearly with better use of linking words.
task achievement
Stay more focused on the topic by providing more specific examples to illustrate your main points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and several sentences that support that idea through explanations or examples.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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