Some people think that money is one of the most essential factor in promoting happiness.Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute toward happiness?

#people #money #factor #happiness #factors

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It is believed that being rich plays a vital role in happiness.

This

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feeling can

also

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stem from some other factors.

However

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,I completely agree with the former argument. On the one hand ,money is the keystone of happiness feeling.

That is

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,having enough money, people can benefit from a higher standard of living.Take utilising more recreational facilities, which can lift individuals's spirits,as an example.In doing so,people can retreat from the overload of the modern lifestyle and have better mental strength,which can generally have a positive effect on their life and their productivity at work.

On the other hand

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,some other elements can help the masses feel happy.

Such

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

being healthy, having a good relationship,and having children.

For example

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, when some people find themselves healthy,they feel they are wealthy so they are happy,and they might be of the opinion that there is no point in the other aspects of life like wealth.To put it differently,the more they enjoy physical and mental well-being,the happier they are and may ignore other meanings of

this

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feeling ,

consequently

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they place a high value on their fitness. In conclusion,

although

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money is not the only factor that can contribute to feeling happy, I strongly believe that financial security can influence all aspects of our lives and add many benefits to everyone's lives

for instance

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,enjoying more of our lives.

Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on Sat Dec 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical progression in your essay by using cohesive devices effectively. Use paragraphing to separate your points clearly and make your argument easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

In your introduction and conclusion, present a clear thesis statement and summarize your main points. Make sure that these elements are linked well with the body of the essay, maintaining a consistent thread throughout the text.

task achievement

Back up your main points with concrete examples. While you have provided some examples, strive to use more specific and detailed instances that directly support your argument

task achievement

Address all parts of the task clearly, providing a balanced view if required and ensuring your response is complete. While you've met the general requirements, further depth and development in your arguments could enhance your score.

task achievement

Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas by deepening your analysis and explanation. Expand on your ideas with more substance to fully convince the reader of your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Essential factor
Promote happiness
Sense of fulfillment
Social connections
Well-being
Physical health
Mental health
Goals and ambitions
Sense of purpose
Fulfillment
Engaging in activities
Hobbies
Gratitude
Contentment
Supportive community
Inclusive environment

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factor in promoting happiness.Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute toward happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?