IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

#people #work #company #organisation
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It has been widely claimed that more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to be self-employed in
this
Linking Words
 century than to
work
Use synonyms
 for
corporation
Correct article usage
a corporation
show examples
 or organisation.
While
Linking Words
 it could be considered that freelance
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 has more advantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 discuss the reason for the claim before elaborating
why
Change preposition
on why
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 I consider the situation to be
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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 circumstance. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, it might seem reasonable to consider that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life in society nowadays is surrounded by hectic
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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such
Linking Words
 as traffic congestion causing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health
problem
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problems
show examples
 for
people
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 who must travel to
work
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.
This
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 is
properly
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proper
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 because
people
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 use personal cars to travel to
work
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
capital
Add an article
the capital
a capital
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 city in developing countries cars
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the most
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 way to travel.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it is the reason
to lead
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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choose to
self-employed
Add a missing verb
be self-employed
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 allows them to
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere
instead
Linking Words
 of only in the capital city.
Additionally
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, I personally believe that
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 self-employed gives opportunities to improve your working
skills
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 case, your
skills
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 will be more developed apart from
required
Correct article usage
the required
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skills
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 for the job description for the company.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason, it will help you to add value and outstanding
skills
Use synonyms
 to your profile.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it could be a significant point to consider that working for a company will make your time schedule to be tight. To clarify the statement, it could be seen that the job position usually has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fixed working hours.
For instance
Linking Words
, the accountant in
corporate
Correct article usage
a corporate
show examples
 firm has to
work
Use synonyms
 for eight hours per day in a week.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it can be
inconvenience
Replace the word
inconvenient
show examples
 in case that unexpected situation happens during working hour time. In conclusion, it is undeniable to consider that ……… I am the option believing that
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 self-employed has more benefits for
people
Use synonyms
 because it could be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to improve our
skills
Use synonyms
 and it could give us
to have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more flexible time to do other activities to reduce stress from
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

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introduction conclusion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The conclusion should not introduce new ideas but should instead summarize your key points.
logical structure
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs together more cohesively.
supported main points
Support main points with relevant and specific examples or evidence.
complete response
Ensure that the response to the task is complete, addressing all parts of the prompt in a fully developed manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively by developing paragraphs with a clear main idea and supporting details.
relevant specific examples
Provide concrete and relevant examples to illustrate your points. Avoid being too general or using hypothetical examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • work-life balance
  • earning potential
  • job satisfaction
  • financial risk
  • irregular income
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • benefits
  • health insurance
  • paid leave
  • retirement plans
What to do next:
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