Relocating companies, factories and employees to country side provide benefits to reduce traffic jams and housing problems. To what extend do you agree?
An increasingly gigantic number of
companies
and industries cause traffic jams and dwelling issues. Some Use synonyms
people
claim that those problems could be overcome by relocating them to rural Use synonyms
areas
. I agree with the point of view, as Use synonyms
this
might bring some positive effects on the environment and economy in both Linking Words
areas
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, it is an indisputable fact that replacing big-modern corporations and factories in modern cities in the countryside could solve the traffic congestion and housing problems. Linking Words
This
is because the reduction of cars and space contributes more to decreasing the traffic commuting time, and might provide Linking Words
people
with good facilities. It Use synonyms
also
will reduce the air pollution in the Linking Words
city
significantly, so that society living in a big area could have healthier fresh air. Despite having insufficient workers in the Use synonyms
city
, It will make the Use synonyms
city
activities much more balanced and healthier.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
plan will offer more job opportunities for individuals who live in rural Linking Words
areas
. Because of relocating modern Use synonyms
companies
and industries, Use synonyms
people
will not only find jobs easilyUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
increase their economy swiftly. Linking Words
Thus
, relocating those industry activities will cut down meticulously the rate of unemployment. Another beneficial effect is the rural economy will increase constantly Linking Words
due to
the availability of industries and Linking Words
companies
in the Use synonyms
areas
. To exemplify, young Use synonyms
people
, living in rural Use synonyms
areas
with a lack of job opportunities, can easily get hired since commercial Use synonyms
companies
require miscellaneous employees to fill several positions . (Give an elaboration of the example!!)
In conclusion, in spite of cutting the number of employees in the Use synonyms
city
, I strongly believe that moving Use synonyms
companies
and industrial activities provides huge benefits in reducing the amount of cities' pollution and dilating the Use synonyms
jobs
opportunities for citizens in the countryside.Fix the agreement mistake
job
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and consistent structure throughout. This means having a solid introduction, well-developed body paragraphs and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support the points you are making. This will help to illustrate your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are generally good, but ensure the main body of your essay effectively supports these with clear and relevant information.
task achievement
While you have made an attempt to respond to the task, try to develop your responses further by addressing the prompt more completely, and expanding on your arguments with clear, comprehensive ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite