Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings?
It is believed by several individuals that throwing
money
for a wedding party
is necessary because this
is part of the culture. Nevertheless
, the opponents, including me, refuse as it is a lavish and excessive habit. In this
essay, I will explain further
about the arguments.
To begin
with, some traditions believe that conducting a wedding party
is able to spread happiness and celebrate achievement in terms of stepping a new life. To implement, it requires a decent plan and a huge amount of money
. One clear example is that Bugis people are suggested by their ancestors to have a proper wedding celebration, which demands a certain amount of money
since they do it three days in a row. This
aims also
a good opportunity to announce the marriage status of their children at the same time. Therefore
, spending a plethora of money
in this
case is needed.
Even though throwing money
for a party
is a wonderful and exhilarating notion, it is categorised as an extravagant lifestyle because people should collect money
first and then
utilise it for a short experience. Instead
, they are able to invest their money
in terms of building a house so that they do not have to be worried or anxious regarding where they should live after marriage. I believe by implementing this
decision their lives would be better and peaceful due to
the amount of money
that they can save for ahead. In other words
, deciding to spend money
merely on a wedding party
is not wise.
To conclude
, several individuals argue that spending huge money
for
marriage celebrations is preferable because Change preposition
on
this
spreads joyful moments. However
, I do not consider this
is
a wise idea since they can utilise their Change the verb form
to be
money
for an investment.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced argument on why people spend money on weddings and includes a counter-argument on why it's not a good idea. However, the argument is not substantial and requires more development, particularly in providing more specific examples and details to strengthen the points made.
task achievement
The essay contains an appropriate introduction and conclusion, but could improve the introduction by directly addressing the question about people's reasons to spend a lot on weddings and the writer's stance. The conclusion nicely summarizes the points but could be more assertive.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is fairly logical, with a clear progression of ideas. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences to introduce the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The use of cohesive devices (linking words) is adequate but can be improved. Some sentences and paragraphs could be more effectively connected to improve the overall readability and flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported but need more elaboration and specific examples. To achieve a higher score, integrate more detailed illustrations or real-world examples to substantiate the arguments.