Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that using mobile

phones

during class should be allowed because they browse additional learning materials.

Nevertheless

this

essay agrees with others who think that they should prohibit the use of gadgets because they will interfere with their concentration. On the one hand, using cell

phones

in the classroom will allow pupils to enrich their study materials from the internet.

This

is because as they receive lectures from the teacher, they can concurrently browse extra explanations about the topic. Some matters may need

further

explanation and children need illustrations and extra material to understand the subject.

For example

, when the teacher explains photosynthesis,

this

process has very detailed steps and each step will be easily understood by children if there are pictures.

Thus

looking for illustrations about photosynthesis will help pupils to absorb the information better.

However

, these kinds of illustrations can be provided by the teacher using a projector rather than letting them browse themselves.

On the other hand

, restraining students from utilising mobile

phones

during lectures will allow them to focus.

This

is because when they are able to freely access the internet, they will open apps that do not support their learning.

This

will distract their concentration and end up focusing on something else rather than studying.

For instance

, research that involved students from many schools in Surabaya in 2018, has shown a group of students whose

phones

are left at home have better attention compared to the other group who bring gadgets to school.

Due to

this

reason,

this

essay believes that applying

this

rule has a better benefit to the juveniles because they are poor in self-control to keep themselves from using their

phones

during class. In conclusion,

although

allowing juveniles to use their gadget will help them during the lecture to browse additional materials, letting them use their mobiles only distract them from studying.

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states your opinion. While your introduction mentioned both views, it jumped to the conclusion without presenting a clear thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to organize ideas more effectively. While the essay has a reasonable logical structure, there could be clearer transitions between points.

task achievement

While some examples are given, they could be more specific and relevant to enhance the argument. The hypothetical example of photosynthesis is suitable but adding more concrete data or studies could bolster the argument.

task achievement

Develop a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. The essay tends to favour the argument against phone use early on, which can impact the objectivity of the discussion.

task achievement

Conclusion could tie the arguments presented more closely to your opinion, reinforcing the main points while showing the implications of the argument or future considerations.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of vocabulary and syntactic structures to increase the essay's complexity and accuracy, which can enhance the overall clarity and articulation of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”

Today the internet has replaced traditional books as a source of information. Discuss the Advantage & Disadvantage.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.