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Band 2.5

Some people think that TV is a source of information and education. Others believe that TV is useful for entertainment only. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #tv #source #information #education #entertainment
Millions of people use TV on
their
Change the word
a
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 daily basis,
due to
 it there is
one
argue
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argument
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 where
one
 part of people think that it is giving new helpful
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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, meanwhile
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think that mostly it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time. I think that TV is a source of information and education, but in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss both views , by
telling
Verb problem
talking
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 about academic programmes and
also
 about
one
 of the reasons why we use it. At
first,
there are a lot of
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 shows on it and most of them are really educational, like travelling, scientific programs or news, there humans can memorise some absorbing
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 and learn something new. So, by watching it individuals are expanding their knowledge.
On the other hand
, most
of
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apply
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people watch it
while
 they are doing something dull, so their brain can focus on something more entertaining and amusing.
For example
,
while
one
 person is eating he is watching a movie, because of it, he is entertaining himself, but not learning something new.
To sum up
, I believe that it still mostly gives us a lot of useful stuff, by the
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 amount of travelling, scientific programs and news, which we can view even
we
Rephrase
when we
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 are busy
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing something boring.
Submitted by satkalialbina07 on

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introduction conclusion present
You need to ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your approach to addressing the two views and your opinion. Your conclusion should summarize the main points made in the essay.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a single main idea related to the topic. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.
supported main points
Each main point you present should be expanded with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.
complete response
Make sure to respond to all parts of the task by discussing both views and providing a clear, well-developed opinion. Your essay should be fully elaborated with all key features covered.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by explaining them comprehensively. Avoid general statements, and ensure that every point you make is relevant to the task and well developed.
relevant specific examples
Support your points with specific examples or evidence. Draw on real-life instances, studies, or statistics to enhance the validity of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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