Buying things in internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more popular. Do advantage of this outweigh disadvantage.

An increasing popularity has been observed in online shopping and e-markets

such

Linking Words

as Amazon.

However

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a thing comes with benefits and drawbacks that are yet to be discussed later on. In my honest opinion, I strongly believe that the transformation to internet buying left a far more positive impact on the world than harming it. The primary drawback of purchasing goods from the Internet is that the quality of the products was left ambiguous until we received the package. There were numerous articles discussed about how some firms encourage customers to buy low-quality-low-price clothes by presenting photoshopped photos. These unrealistic images of the dress created an incentive for buyers to believe in what they saw and swipe their cards.

As a result

Linking Words

, when the actual dress arrived, the majority of people were unsatisfied with the quality and rarely wore it in the future.

This

Linking Words

created a wastage

Change preposition

show examples

materials and irrational money-spending patterns for consumers. Another downside of ordering online is that the rate of transportation pollution rises.

This

Linking Words

could be explained by the increasing orders to individual houses

instead

Linking Words

of just shipping the goods to one destination

such

Linking Words

as a supermarket or a bookstore. The carbon dioxide that was released by those transport vehicles showed an upward trend with the number of online orders, contributing to global warming.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, one reason why online shopping is advantageous is that it helps consumers

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mitigate the

time

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

spent shopping for groceries.

For instance

Linking Words

, without the aid of the internet in the past, we used to travel to the supermarket for groceries and food supplies which could take us two to three hours in total per

time

Use synonyms

we went to the mall including

time

Use synonyms

travel back and forth.

On the other hand

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, if our books were ordered online, only a few clicks and fifteen minutes were needed.

Thus

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this

Linking Words

created a huge

time

Use synonyms

gap between the two alternatives.

This

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

gap could be utilised to finish other tasks

such

Linking Words

as checking emails, finishing chores, and other work-related businesses. Another benefit of

this

Linking Words

trend could be that more opportunities are created for competition between smaller businesses and larger and more established ones.

In particular

Linking Words

, small online businesses could use social media pages to promote their products and reach a large number of audiences that are comparatively equal to the larger firms' marketing campaigns

due to

Linking Words

algorithms in these platforms.

Not to mention

Linking Words

that the cost of setting up these promotion posts are way less than traditional form of advertising

such

Linking Words

as newspaper. Taking everything into consideration, I truly believe that the advantages of online shopping far outweigh the disadvantages

due to

Linking Words

its convenience. Shopping trends changed drastically after COVID-19 as a way for the world to cope with the pandemic

along with

Linking Words

technological advances.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

Verb problem

does

show examples

not by any means undervalue the benefits that purchasing online brings as it is an essential aiding tool for nowadays busy lifestyle.

trinhbakhanhlinh

Dec 17, 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, make sure that your paragraphs are well-organized and that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with specific examples and details. Try to use linking words more effectively to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

In terms of task achievement, ensure that you answer all parts of the question thoroughly and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. While you have provided relevant examples, you could improve by offering deeper analysis and further elaboration to strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

492 words

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Buying things in internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more popular. Do advantage of this outweigh disadvantage.

Many parents, mostly mothers, stay at home to take care of the house and look after children. Many believe that the government should pay them a wage for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think teachers should give students homework every day. Others think that this can cause a lot of issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

We are living in a throw-away society and things are used in a shorter period I of time and thrown away. What are the causes of this phenomenon and what problems might it cause?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.