Buying things in internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more popular. Do advantage of this outweigh disadvantage.

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An increasing popularity has been observed in online shopping and e-markets

such

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as Amazon.

However

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such

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a thing comes with benefits and drawbacks that are yet to be discussed later on. In my honest opinion, I strongly believe that the transformation to internet buying left a far more positive impact on the world than harming it. The primary drawback of purchasing goods from the Internet is that the quality of the products was left ambiguous until we received the package. There were numerous articles discussed about how some firms encourage customers to buy low-quality-low-price clothes by presenting photoshopped photos. These unrealistic images of the dress created an incentive for buyers to believe in what they saw and swipe their cards.

As a result

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, when the actual dress arrived, the majority of people were unsatisfied with the quality and rarely wore it in the future.

This

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created a wastage

Change preposition

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materials and irrational money-spending patterns for consumers. Another downside of ordering online is that the rate of transportation pollution rises.

This

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could be explained by the increasing orders to individual houses

instead

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of just shipping the goods to one destination

such

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as a supermarket or a bookstore. The carbon dioxide that was released by those transport vehicles showed an upward trend with the number of online orders, contributing to global warming.

On the other hand

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, one reason why online shopping is advantageous is that it helps consumers

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apply

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mitigate the

time

Use synonyms

that is

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spent shopping for groceries.

For instance

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, without the aid of the internet in the past, we used to travel to the supermarket for groceries and food supplies which could take us two to three hours in total per

time

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we went to the mall including

time

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travel back and forth.

On the other hand

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, if our books were ordered online, only a few clicks and fifteen minutes were needed.

Thus

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this

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created a huge

time

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gap between the two alternatives.

This

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time

Use synonyms

gap could be utilised to finish other tasks

such

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as checking emails, finishing chores, and other work-related businesses. Another benefit of

this

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trend could be that more opportunities are created for competition between smaller businesses and larger and more established ones.

In particular

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, small online businesses could use social media pages to promote their products and reach a large number of audiences that are comparatively equal to the larger firms' marketing campaigns

due to

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algorithms in these platforms.

Not to mention

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that the cost of setting up these promotion posts are way less than traditional form of advertising

such

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as newspaper. Taking everything into consideration, I truly believe that the advantages of online shopping far outweigh the disadvantages

due to

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its convenience. Shopping trends changed drastically after COVID-19 as a way for the world to cope with the pandemic

along with

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technological advances.

Nevertheless

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this

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Verb problem

does

show examples

not by any means undervalue the benefits that purchasing online brings as it is an essential aiding tool for nowadays busy lifestyle.

trinhbakhanhlinhSun Dec 17 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, make sure that your paragraphs are well-organized and that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with specific examples and details. Try to use linking words more effectively to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

In terms of task achievement, ensure that you answer all parts of the question thoroughly and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. While you have provided relevant examples, you could improve by offering deeper analysis and further elaboration to strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

492 words

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Buying things in internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more popular. Do advantage of this outweigh disadvantage.

Your opinion

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed. In which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this

The most important aim of science should be to improve peoples lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Q. In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?