You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop doesn't even switch on. Write to the store. In your letter: • Tell the store where you live & what happened • Explain the problem with the laptop • State what action you would like the store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #action

Dear Sir or Madam My name is Pokiza a loyal customer of your

store

. I am writing to you from a tiny university town where I recently purchased a

laptop

from your

store

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

city about 2 hours away. After I purchased from your

store

week

ago as it has not turned on offer I had used it for a

week

Last

week

I went to the city to buy a

laptop

to complete an assignment for work and I purchased one. I have used

this

laptop

to write a lengthy assignment that will be very soon. First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

it worked, well and I was able to finish my assignment in

short

Add an article

a short

show examples

time. I am extremely disappointed to report that

offer

Correct your spelling

after

show examples

only a

week

of use, the

laptop

has completely stopped working. Unfortunately, it did not switch on,

therefore

I told my PC repairman friend about it. She said that you replace the item. I suggest that you recover the data on the hard disk as soon as possible because I need it for my other assignments. I called your

store

's customer service but no one answered my calls, so I am writing

this

letter to you. Thank you for your attention to

this

matter. Yours faithfully Pokiza

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Organize your paragraphs better, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea or point.

task achievement

Provide more details about what you want the store to do. For example, state clearly whether you want a refund, a repair, or a replacement laptop.

greeting and closing

The opening and closing of the letter are appropriately formal and polite.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the letter is suitable for a formal complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

211 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries , the government promote public transportation and discourage the private vehicles what are the advantage and disadvantages?

International travel and tourism have become easier and more affordable. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?