16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
planning a new city, it is more
importante
Correct your spelling
important
to construct public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
venues than shopping malls where
people
Use synonyms
spend their leisure time. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
idea
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities bring more benefits to the citizens in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
than shopping centres do. In general, shopping centres attract a lot of
people
Use synonyms
and promote trade and job creation, but the main part of the profits is concentrated in a few big companies.
The consumers
Correct article usage
Consumers
show examples
like to spend their free time and their money in shopping malls, because it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
a sensation of prosperity and security.
Moreover
Linking Words
, everybody ends up consuming something in
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
shops, and sometimes, poor
people
Use synonyms
are kept
way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
from
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
spaces
normallly
Correct your spelling
normally
are free of charge and are an opportunity to keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and live a healthier life. In the medium and long term,
this
Linking Words
kind of
facilities
Fix the agreement mistake
facility
show examples
is more important to towns and it helps to promote health and leisure for all social classes. So,
to conclude
Linking Words
, I believe
that is
Linking Words
more important
design
Fix the infinitive
to design
show examples
public areas for
parks
Use synonyms
and places to do
sports
Use synonyms
than
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
shops
Change the noun form
shop
show examples
areas. The entrepreneurs will find locales to do
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
business anyway.
However
Linking Words
, the public power has the responsibility to encourage
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
free
publics
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
venues like
sports
Use synonyms
facilities and
parks
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fmulato on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure from introduction to conclusion. Try to make your paragraphs flow naturally from one to the other, using a range of cohesive devices for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
When presenting your arguments, it is crucial to develop them thoroughly. Expand your main points by giving specific examples and details that support your view. Avoid unsubstantiated assertions where possible.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task to ensure you provide a complete response. Your essay should clearly answer the question and stay relevant to the topic throughout. Be careful not to deviate from the main point of discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear idea that is directly related to the task at hand. It is not enough to make generalized statements; you should aim to demonstrate clear, comprehensive thinking regarding the subject matter.
task achievement
Using relevant examples in your essay enhances your argument and provides evidence for the claims you make. It is beneficial to include specific examples that are directly tied to the point you are trying to make, ensuring they contribute to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • recreational areas
  • green spaces
  • cityscape
  • well-being
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • ecosystem
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • consumer culture
  • retail therapy
  • land use
  • zoning regulations
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: