16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
think that on
planning a new city, it is more Change preposition
in
importante
to construct public Correct your spelling
important
parks
and sports
venues than shopping malls where people
spend their leisure time. I totally agree with this
idea beacause
Correct your spelling
because
parks
and sports
facilities bring more benefits to the citizens in Correct article usage
the long-term
long-term
than shopping centres do.
In general, shopping centres attract a lot of Correct your spelling
long term
people
and promote trade and job creation, but the main part of the profits is concentrated in a few big companies. The consumers
like to spend their free time and their money in shopping malls, because it Correct article usage
Consumers
give
a sensation of prosperity and security. Change the verb form
gives
Moreover
, everybody ends up consuming something in theirs
shops, and sometimes, poor Correct the word
their
people
are kept way
from Correct your spelling
away
this
places.
Correct determiner usage
these
On the other hand
, public parks
and sports
spaces normallly
are free of charge and are an opportunity to keep Correct your spelling
normally
contact
with Change preposition
in contact
the
natureCorrect article usage
apply
,
and live a healthier life. In the medium and long term, Remove the comma
apply
this
kind of facilities
is more important to towns and it helps to promote health and leisure for all social classes.
So, Fix the agreement mistake
facility
to conclude
, I believe that is
more important design
public areas for Fix the infinitive
to design
parks
and places to do sports
than bulding
Correct your spelling
building
shops
areas. The entrepreneurs will find locales to do Change the noun form
shop
theirs
business anyway. Correct the word
their
However
, the public power has the responsibility to encourage better
Correct article usage
a better
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
throught
free Correct your spelling
through
throughout
publics
venues like Correct your spelling
public
sports
facilities and parks
.Submitted by fmulato on
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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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