IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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These days, there are more and more learners are inclined to have focus and attention difficulties during the
class-hours
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
.
This
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 is mainly because of the lack of interest
to
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in
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 the subjects and
also
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 digital destruction. There are a number of
solution
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solutions
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 that could be implemented to help them motivated.
Firstly
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, the foremost reason for the
students
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 are not actively involved or participating in the learning process
,
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apply
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 is
due to
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 the material uninteresting.
In other words
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, the learners might find some lessons
are
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apply
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boring and irrelevant to their
live
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lives
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, which
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
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the
Correct pronoun usage
them
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struggle
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to struggle
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 to stay engaged and focused. Some recent studies reported that most
students
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 nowadays seek for
practical-subjects
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subjects
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 in which they
could
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can
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 feel, touch, and experience through their activities.
Secondly
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, the use of technology in the classroom is
also
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 owing to the increased
of
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apply
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distraction.
As a result
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, many schoolchildren may be tempted to use their devices for non-academic purposes
such
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 as games, social media, and others. There are two effective solutions to the problem of lack
engagement
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of engagement
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Use synonyms
students
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in students
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 in learning. One way to tackle
this
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 is by having varied teaching methods that
related
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relate
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real-word
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real-world
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 applications.
For instance
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, rather than learning to memorize technical terms or
definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
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,
students
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 can explore more or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 experimental studies in the laboratory or school garden. Another method to
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
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 with
students
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’ interest is by immersing them
with
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in
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 something they
eager
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are eager
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 for,
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 and
Correct article usage
a hand
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hand phone
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handphone
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, which attract them more, can be a source of learning flat form during the lesson, but still with a clear policy. In conclusion, it obvious that
by
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apply
show examples
providing practical lessons with enjoyable learning activities and adjusting technology as well are seem to give a solution to
this
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notions
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notion
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. If the stakeholders could implement
this
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, learners will be more pleasant to learn in the future.

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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with subsequent sentences expanding on that idea. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smooth to enhance the logical flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
It's important to have both an introduction and a conclusion that encapsulate your main points. However, you need to make sure they are fully developed. The introduction should more clearly outline the problems and solutions you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize the points made and reinforce your solution.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are relevant, they need to be more fully supported with details, examples, and explanations. The points also need to be clearly separated and discussed in individual paragraphs to add clarity to your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing all parts of the question. You touched upon the reasons why students have difficulties focusing and some solutions, but each of these could be expanded with more detail and depth for a higher score.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive, with a strong development through examples and evidence. Aim to present each point with substantial information and reasoning. Be cautious with spelling and punctuation. For example, 'destruction' should be 'distraction' and remember to use proper punctuation like commas and periods to break up long sentences.
task achievement
Providing relevant and specific examples strengthens your argument. It is recommended to include more distinct and varied examples that relate to each of the points you're making about students' difficulties and potential solutions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
What to do next:
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