IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart provided depicts the
number
 of
visitors
 (
millions
) in four different international museums from 1980 to 2015. By and large,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 had the highest
number
 of
visitors
 throughout the
period
,
while
 Shenzhen Museums got the lowest in the beginning. Interestingly,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 experienced a downward trend. To commence with,
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
took
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
number
 of
visitors
 all over the
period
. In 1980, around 7.8
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people went
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
there and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 increased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 approximately 9.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. Meanwhile, Shenzhen got the lowest with only under 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 at the start
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and finished with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar
number
.
Moreover
,
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
Museum
 was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place throughout the
period
. It dramatically increased from around 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 to 9.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
In addition
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place at the beginning of the
period
. The
number
 of tourists visiting
this
museum
 declined year by year. It ended with the lowest
number
 of
visitors
 (2.25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) in 2015.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, millions, period, museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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