Some think most crime is the result of circumstances, e.g., poverty and other social problems. Others believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays
crime's
statistics rising Change noun form
crime
as
Change preposition
at
a
speed of light. Some Correct article usage
the
group
of citizens think that it is happening because of social problems. Fix the agreement mistake
groups
Linking Words
However
others prefer that criminals are bad by their Add a comma
However,
nature
. From my point of Use synonyms
view
I agree with Add a comma
view,
first
state Change the article
the first
further
than Linking Words
second
. Correct article usage
the second
Because
Correct word choice
People
people
can change polite and friendly Use synonyms
guy
into Fix the agreement mistake
guys
terrorist
and Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
Use synonyms
person
can not born like a villain.
As it is obvious from world news most of the criminals are from Fix the agreement mistake
people
low ranked
families, Add a hyphen
low-ranked
have
issues with money or Correct word choice
and have
psycopathics
. Who are rob the bank or kill others. Correct your spelling
psychopathics
Use synonyms
Person
who has Add an article
A person
The person
issue
with Add an article
an issue
brain
can be Add an article
a brain
the brain
trated
by doctors in Correct your spelling
treated
first
step of illness. But Change the article
the first
for example
, Linking Words
parents
of Correct article usage
the parents
this
guy Linking Words
were not bring
him to a doctor. As Change the verb form
did not bring
the
Correct article usage
a
Fix the agreement mistake
result
results
physocopathic Add a comma
results,
human
in the Fix the agreement mistake
humans
last
Linking Words
stadies
of Correct your spelling
stages
studies
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
diseas
will injure or hurt another Correct your spelling
disease
person
. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
people
would insult and judge him. Use synonyms
Thats
correct but Correct your spelling
That
main
problem Change the article
the main
were
when he was a child and Change the verb form
was
parents
Correct pronoun usage
his parents
who were
not Verb problem
did
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
it
in first steps of brain illness.
The second group of Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who prefer that Use synonyms
felon
Correct article usage
a felon
person
is Use synonyms
villain
by Add an article
a villain
nature
thought incorrectly. Because villagers who are psycho Use synonyms
were include
Change the verb form
were included
Linking Words
this
character from Change preposition
in this
Add an article
the kid
a kid
kid
. Now Capitalize word
Kid
people
can say that it is from Use synonyms
nature
. But it is not and that issue has Use synonyms
their
solution. Correct pronoun usage
its
For example
Linking Words
the
Oxford Correct article usage
apply
Universities
doctors showed results of psychos DNA and most of these diseases have Replace the word
University
given
by their grandparents or Add a missing verb
been given
sibings
. Correct your spelling
siblings
Abviously
parents Correct your spelling
Obviously
known
about Wrong verb form
know
illness
of their relatives and do not prepare Add an article
the illness
to
their own child.
In conclusion, in my Change preposition
for
opinion
I agree with Add a comma
opinion,
people
who prefer that citizens Use synonyms
did
Verb problem
commit
crime
because of Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
social
Add an article
a social
the social
problem
and I do not prefer Fix the agreement mistake
problems
second
group of Change the article
the second
people
who Use synonyms
are actually think
that villain Change the verb form
actually think
people
are from Use synonyms
nature
Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
You will need to enhance the logical flow and clarity of your arguments, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words and ensuring that each paragraph deals with a single main idea will help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion need to be clear and effectively summarize the key points of the essay, as well as your stance on the issue. Make sure your conclusion restates the discussion and your opinion is well-articulated.
task achievement
When supporting your points, aim to provide more detailed and precise examples that reinforce your argument. General statements are less effective than specific, illustrative examples or case studies.
task achievement
In addressing the task, be sure to discuss both sides of the argument thoroughly and equally before giving your own opinion, and make sure your opinion is stated explicitly and developed throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite