The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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There are arguments that the usage of mobile
phones
should not be allowed
in particular
places
as well as
smoking.
This
is because using mobile
phones
can distract our attention from other important activities
such
as studying or eating. I completely agree with the given statements because I believe mobile
phones
have shifted people from education or meals and made them antisocial like smoking. To commence with, one of the predominant reasons why people use mobile
phones
is to publicize everything on social media.
For instance
,
last
week
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
and my friends were having dinner at a restaurant. All of us were engaged in our
phones
and did not have meaningful conversations at all. When the food arrived, we took thousands of food pictures and posted them on our social media before we ate.
As a result
, we find ourselves engrossed with our mobile devices.
This
shows how the usage of electronic gadgets can take away our quality time with loved ones.
Furthermore
, electronic devices should be banned from certain places,
such
as schools, restaurants, and libraries in order to change the focus from telephone to present action. To illustrate, in libraries, people can be easily distracted by ringtones of incoming calls. Not only that,
in
Correct word choice
but in
show examples
some public places,
such
as restaurants, music halls or galleries,
phones
can annoy and ruin the experience of others. In conclusion, mobile
phones
and technologies can make our lives much easier and have many merits.
Hence
we
also
should be aware of the demerits of excessive device usage that can lead to antisocial behavior.
Submitted by pnasywasina on

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you expand on the key points, providing more depth and analysis to your arguments. Your reasons and examples should directly support your stance throughout the essay, showing a developed argument with varied sentence structures.
Coherence and Cohesion
For improving Coherence and Cohesion, work on your essay's logical progression. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices. Paragraphing should be used effectively to structure the main ideas, and transitions should be seamless.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • antisocial
  • social interactions
  • negative impacts
  • banning
  • regulated
  • completely banned
  • education
  • awareness campaigns
  • responsible
  • mobile phone use
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