Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #attention

There are competing views on whether advertising has an impact on us to buy things.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

advertisements are so common, I still think that we do not pay attention to them and advertising a product is

persuade

Wrong verb form

persuading

show examples

us to shop by creating needs.

People

are exposed to repetitive commercials

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. As advertising is now

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eveywhere

Correct your spelling

everywhere

people

are no

longor

Correct your spelling

longer

can

avoid

Correct pronoun usage

avoid it

show examples

As a result

, they

perefer

Correct your spelling

prefer

not to pay any attention. For

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

, when

people

wish

relaxing

Change the verb form

to relax

show examples

by watching a video on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, the first thing they encounter is

after

before

reaching

Verb problem

watching

show examples

the video.

However

, I do

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

think that not paying attention to

repetetive

Correct your spelling

repetitive

adds

Correct your spelling

ads

show examples

has no influence on

people

's shopping. In fact, they can not protect their

subcouncious

Correct your spelling

subconscious

from

repeting

Correct your spelling

repeating

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

. Others,

on the other hand

argues

Correct subject-verb agreement

argue

show examples

that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to shop as they create new needs. We see some new

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

through

adds

Correct your spelling

ads

show examples

and we start thinking that we need that product for some

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

For example

evey

Correct your spelling

every

year, Apple introduces its new

Iphone

Correct your spelling

iPhone

with little changes made

Change preposition

show examples

the previous model. They display brand new

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

through advertising and

people

start

thining

Correct your spelling

thinking

show examples

they need to change their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

with

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

latest

Iphone

Correct your spelling

iPhone

. I agree with

this

argument because as discussed above, advertising creates new needs for

people

and eventually they persuade

people

to buy things. In conclusion,

although

people

are expose

Change the verb form

are exposed

show examples

to advertising every day, it is not possible to avoid its effects

subcounciously

Correct your spelling

subconsciously

Therefore

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that

Replace the word

advertising

show examples

is very successful as it creates new needs for us.

Submitted by oyku.bilgin12 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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structure

Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

organization

Organize your ideas into logical segments and make sure each paragraph expands on a single main idea.

linking

Use a range of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and clarify relationships between sentences and paragraphs.

task response

Address the task directly, ensuring you discuss both views and provide a clear personal opinion, supported by relevant examples.

clarity

Make your main ideas clear and distinct, rather than presenting them in a way that can cause confusion or seem repetitive.

examples

Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to support your arguments and illustrate your points.

accuracy

Proofread your essay to fix spelling and grammatical errors for improved readability and professionalism.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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