In many countries around the worls life expectancy is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Nowadays,across the world ,It is a reality that lifespan is going to be longer than before ,and
this
issue is connected with hope and concerns of humans for living
,for exploring in Add an article
a living
positive
side , more Add an article
the positive
years
to be active in good health would flourished societies in progress ,alongside, families would be more confident to live together ,however
, in negative
side , there are more demands and needs to address of Add an article
the negative
population
inflation ,so, I will discuss more in following sentences.
First , increasing lifespan would give more motivation to all generations to build their own environment ,because, building proper infrastructure needs more than 50 years
,for example
,considering medical doctor must study hard for more than 40 years
to be a professional person in a specific field of medicine ,so , professional doctors are more than 60 years
old ,and if there is hope for living more than 90 years
old ,they might be pushing a good force to draw new lines for medicine ,however
, visiting patients are too precious ,but , for drawing a new picture of medicine , professionals need more years
for changing ,alongside , when people look at their own doctors that have a good lifespan they would be encouraged to care of yourself more and listen to doctors for having a healthy and happy life .
On the other hand
, elderly professionals are more qualified to be employed in job situations while
the young generation is increasing speedy and these differences might be a source of chaos regarding ages
differences ,Fix the agreement mistake
age
in addition
, the balance between the amount of elderly community and younger is important ,because , their needs are too different and if societies must not aware about it , there is a increase amount of young population
while
they are aged individuals , because, they have not own place for living .no job situations that matched with their abilities and have to obey of elderly population
,so , the progress of changing that is
the potential of younger brains have lost .
According to
epidemiological studies in various countries , scientists have drawn invisible lines between generations,because, regarding increasing in years
of living societies have more individuals as ageing
Add an article
an ageing
population
that are affected indirectly to decrease the hope of living in young people , however
, successful and healthy elderly people are a source of motivation like a role model , so , countries must draw a mutual living without uncontrollable mixing these generations together.Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas but lacks a clear organizational structure. The use of paragraphs is not effective, and the essay as a whole lacks a logical flow, making it difficult to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are not distinct or effective. The essay would benefit from a clear opening statement that outlines the main points that will be discussed and a succinct conclusion that summarizes the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but are not always supported by clear examples or explanations, making some of the arguments vague. To improve, try to include specific examples or further explanation to support each main point.
task achievement
The response covers the task but is only marginally complete. It would be better to address the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy more directly and clearly within the response.
task achievement
While some ideas are presented, the overall clarity and comprehensibility are weak. Sentences should be structured to clearly convey the intended meaning and the essay should be organized to guide the reader through the argument step by step.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used but they lack specificity. Provide more detailed and concrete examples to illustrate the points made, enhancing the persuasiveness of the arguments.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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