Teenages should not be allowed to use mobile phone at school To what extent to you agree or disagree
should
youth
not be enabled to be employed mobile phones
at school
. there is a pros and cons. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides I deeply agree with this
and I will give you my opinion.
Firstly
, nowadays youth
are trying to be employed with a mobile phone
at school
but they are breaking school
rules. They take a phone
inside the bag. They take it the school
because they are addicted to their mobile phone
during the class period they employ it and they don't
focus on class lessons. For instance
, when the teacher the
aches Correct article usage
apply
their
Replace the word
there
are employ
Change the verb form
employ
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
like a
Correct article usage
apply
til
Tok, YouTube, Google and Change preposition
apply
facebook
. they don'Capitalize word
Facebook
t
want to focus to
the teacher.
Change preposition
on
Secondly
, these days youth
are very popular in communication and chatting for a massage each other with the phone
.when they have a break time they by
Correct word choice
apply
to
use mobile Fix the infinitive
apply
phones
more time at school
their
build up better social Correct pronoun usage
they
skills
which is
only leads to great communication Unnecessary verb
apply
skills
not
education. Add the comma(s)
, not
For instance
, if one youth
is doing this
everyone following them.they don't
focus the study
they are focused to the bring mobile Replace the word
studying
phones
to school
.
On the other hand
, firstly
some students employ Mobil
Correct your spelling
mobile
phones
at school
if had
Wrong verb form
they have
a
more and more benefits. Like emergency Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
situation
, some education can be checked by Google. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
For instance
, some of
emergency Change preposition
apply
situation
like a fiver, enjery , Fix the agreement mistake
situations
school
bus late. Their
can Correct pronoun usage
They
by
use a Mobil Change preposition
apply
phone
to speak their
parents.
In conclusion, if the government brings the rules don'Change preposition
to their
t
bring the mobile phone
at
Change preposition
to
school
.Youth
are definitely focused study
. they Change preposition
on study
not
focused Add a missing verb
are not
to
other Change preposition
on
skills
like social skills
.in
my opinion Capitalize word
In
their
are educating the future generation of happy and successful peopleCorrect pronoun usage
they
increasing
. Verb problem
apply
Youth
are focused to
education must be better.Change preposition
on
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task response
Your essay lacks clarity and precision in expressing your viewpoint. It's essential to maintain a clear stance throughout the essay and ensure that your ideas are elaborated upon clearly, avoiding repetitive or vague statements.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of your essay could use improvement. It's important to have a clear introduction with a thesis statement, well-organized body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion to reflect upon the main points discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and varied sentence structures to link ideas more smoothly and demonstrate a good command of the English language.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?