A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas

It is often thought that an increase in living standards of a country

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

of great benefit to the city but not the rural areas. There are two major issues

this

can cause and effective

resoltuions

Correct your spelling

resolutions

solutions

for

such

problems.

Firstly

, a better scale of living between two different areas of a locality only serves to highlight disparity issues.

For instance

, those located rurally will feel a sense of abandonment and inferiority as they do not

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

the same advantages.There may be the construction of better educational facilities in city spaces,

further

increasing the disparity of educational levels and

disadvantags

Correct your spelling

disadvantaging

some sectors of society.

Furthermore

this

could conjure up feelings of resentment towards the government and other town folk.

Moreover

this

will cause an

overall

decline in the country in terms of literacy and

further

education.

Secondly

, as

differences

Correct article usage

the differences

show examples

between the two locations become clear,

people

are more likely to rebel and strike in order to get what they want. It will serve as a reminder to children that they are from a

disdavnatged

Correct your spelling

disadvantaged

background and unlikely to reach top occupations. Again,

this

will cause turmoil and unrest in the situation of the country. In order to tackle

such

problems, the government should fund both domains on an equal level.

Eucational

Correct your spelling

Educational

Education

and healthcare facilities should be built in order for everyone to get a fair start in life. Not only will

this

raise awareness for all

people

but

also

in turn, improve the economy

as well as

ensure the safety of the

people

of that nation.

Additionally

this

will

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

a community feel and generate a new generation that cares and looks out for each other. In conclusion, a rise in living

standrads

Correct your spelling

standards

should

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

every locality equally,

therefore

ensuring that there is no resentment or inferiority

that is

felt by the

people

Submitted by abeera2012 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve in the area of coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more logically-structured essay with distinct paragraphs, each with a clear central idea followed by supporting sentences. This will aid in the logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Additionally, work on the introduction and conclusion to ensure that they are fully developed, providing a clear overview of the topic and a succinct summary without introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

task achievement

For task achievement, it's important for your essay to provide a complete response to all parts of the task. Make sure to explore all aspects of the question with clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Develop each point with relevant details and examples that are specific to the question in order to naturally support your argument or narrative, rather than relying on generic or undeveloped statements. By incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on your points, you can enhance the relevance and depth of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could taken to solve them.