Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Women
play an important role in developing the society and nation . It is a debatable issue regarding the
rights
of
women
and men . Some netizens believe that still ladies are not getting enough opportunities like men . I strongly disagree with
this
statement because
females
proved themselves in all fields
such
as the health sector, sports, police , spacecraft and many more. I will discuss my point of view on these factors. First of all , regardless of gender, now in the field of sports , the government is giving preference to girls as well . Recently, in the Olympics, Manu Bhakkar won the medal in a gunshot competition.It becomes possible
due to
the equality
rights
of
females
.
Moreover
, because of intelligence,
women
secured their positions in spacecraft as well .
For Example
, Sunita Willam is the second lady who went to space . It becomes possible
due to
strong determination and family support . In my opinion, nowadays it is very few sectors where girls haven't achieved higher ranks if we have a look at politicians and in the army
then
Kiran Bedi and Pritiba Petel's names are on top . To illustrate it, In India , at the present time , the lady president runs the country. Now the government started giving special quotas to
females
in every field
according to
their ability. On the other side , despite acquiring equal
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
still,
women
are not safe in some areas mostly at night times . In conclusion, in spite of having equal
rights
for
women
same like men ,still some netizens believe that ladies are deprived of their
rights
. But
females
are holding a higher position in every field.
Submitted by harjass308 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in the introduction by explicitly stating your stance. The introduction could be clearer in highlighting the scope of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Some paragraphs jump between points without smooth transitions.
task achievement
The essay includes specific and relevant examples, such as Manu Bhakkar and Sunita Williams, which enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wage gap
  • gender parity
  • glass ceiling
  • gender discrimination
  • equal opportunities
  • patriarchal society
  • empowerment
  • stereotypes
  • work-life balance
  • inclusive policies
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