The graph below gives information about computer possession by households in one European country between 1997 and 2011

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The line graph given illustrates how many

computers

Use synonyms

a family had in 4 categories, based on the data collected in a European nation during the period of seven years (1997-2011). From an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, the most striking feature is that there is an upward trend of two-computer possession in every home,

while

Linking Words

the opposite is true for no

computers

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While

Linking Words

one computer ownership held the lion’s share, three or more

computers

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accounted for the minuscule share. It is

also

Linking Words

evident that there was a remarkable discrepancy between these kinds of surveyed possessions. Regarding the information pertaining to all four types of ownership, the figure of no computer was devoted at the top-tier place, with a shy of 45% at the starting point, before witnessing a gradual leap to a shade of one-fifth.

Besides

Linking Words

, the statistics for the two

computers

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saw an increase of 15% from 9% over the whole period. Interestingly, the number of only one computer remained steadily around 45

percent

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per cent

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in seven years. The data for three or more

computers

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increased gradually from nearly nothing to 7.5

percent

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per cent

show examples

Change preposition

during

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the entire time.

dothaovy0804Mon Dec 18 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words computers with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

184 words

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The graph below gives information about computer possession by households in one European country between 1997 and 2011

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case ? do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to elderly, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.