Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many times authorities face the hard decision of whether
investing
in Change the verb form
to invest
railways
before routes. I strongly believe that building Use synonyms
railways
and other train facilities carries way more advantages Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
than
constructiong
roads, Correct your spelling
constructing
construction
such
as the reduction of carbon exhausts and the expansion of Linking Words
cities
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, building Linking Words
railways
helps Use synonyms
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
cities
and even countries. For decades, Use synonyms
trains
have facilitated the transportation of Use synonyms
people
and goods between different locations Use synonyms
in
a map. Change preposition
on
This
event has helped small villages develop into bigger Linking Words
cities
since more Use synonyms
people
were able to reach these places. A good example of Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
are
the Change the verb form
is
Europen
countries: urban sprawl has been much Correct your spelling
European
more
easier thanks to the development of the railway system, allowing communities to connect to one another.
Change the word
apply
Secondly
, the expansion of rail lines is Linking Words
benefitial
to the environment. Nowadays, most Correct your spelling
beneficial
trains
use electric energy to function rather than fossil fuel, meaning that they leave a smaller carbon footprint. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
traveling
by train is cheaper than owning Change the spelling
travelling
a
automobile, which leads to an increase Change the article
an
of
Change preposition
in
people
choosing to use Use synonyms
trains
to commute short and long distances Use synonyms
instead
of private vehicles. Linking Words
Consequently
, there would be less pollution coming from the emissions provoked by cars.
In conclusion, the government should be more interested in spending more money on Linking Words
railways
so as to make Use synonyms
people
choose greener means of transport like Use synonyms
trains
and to develop Use synonyms
cities
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a reasonable level of logical structure with clear paragraphs; however, transitions between them could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and convey a clear position. To further strengthen these sections, consider restating the main points more dynamically in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have provided some support for your main points, but the arguments could be further strengthened with additional details and more varied examples.
task achievement
Your essay provides a response to the prompt, but it could be considered incomplete. To improve, make sure to address the question more directly and cover all parts of the prompt more thoroughly.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensible, but they risk being too general. Aim for more depth in your discussion by developing your arguments further and incorporating a wider range of ideas.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided, but they lack specificity. Employ more specific and detailed examples to substantiate your arguments. Avoid overly general statements.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.