Governments should ban the violent films and television in order to decrease crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #ban #films #television #decrease #crimes #society

There is ongoing debate regarding whether the government should prohibit violent content on various media to reduce the crime rate.

This

essay will explore both perspectives that present the points of agreement and disagreement, and arrive at my own conclusion. In today's digital age, it is widely agreed that children always imitate what they see on TV.

However

, information including violence is ubiquitous, and

this

could result in the source of youths'

misbehavior

Change the spelling

misbehaviour

show examples

Therefore

, there would be an increasing number of adolescent crimes.

Furthermore

, with the widespread availability of the Internet, youngsters can easily access films on streaming platforms without restriction. What is alarming is that most of them contain improper violent plots that can be detrimental to the mindset of young people, and

this

circumstance is

also

strongly related to crime.

On the other hand

, it is undeniable that violent content is harmful to children's development, but banning it cannot truly eradicate the issue. One prominent reason is that despite eliminating all the violence on diverse media youngsters still can reach adverse information through peers. What is obvious is that governments should enhance the quality of education

instead

of solely prohibiting violent content. Establishing the correct attitude can effectively prevent youths from misbehavior, and significantly decrease the crime rate in the future. In conclusion, it is evident that only banning violence on TV or other media cannot lower the number of crimes. From my perspective, nowadays society has witnessed that promoting people's education is a useful manner to reduce crimes.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Tue Dec 19 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should introduce the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position. Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement and a more decisive conclusion.

logical structure

Your essay should have logical progression of ideas and paragraphs should be well sequenced with coherent devices appropriately used. Consider varying your cohesive devices and make sure paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next with logical connectors.

supported main points

Support each of your main points with clear, relevant examples and explanations. While you mention the negative effects of violent content and the role of education, your essay would be strengthened by providing specific, real-life examples to illustrate your points.

complete response

To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the prompt. Offer a more balanced discussion of the issue by considering more perspectives on the topic. Your response is relevant, but you could explore the extent to which you agree or disagree in greater depth to provide a complete answer.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your main ideas should be developed thoroughly. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea, followed by a detailed explanation or illustration. Avoid too broad statements and focus on providing a comprehensive exploration of each point.

relevant specific examples

Use specific examples to support your points to make your essay more persuasive. These examples should be relevant and detailed. Consider using statistics, research findings, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the prompt to make your argument stronger.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should ban the violent films and television in order to decrease crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Que: Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is to address it at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governtments should invest funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?