Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Issues related to the comparison of two different occupations are frequently discussed these days. It is true that politicians receive less income than the
top tier
Add a hyphen
top-tier
show examples
influencers in
this
present day. Despite the fact that
this
trend has some benefits, I would argue that there are more drawbacks. In
this
essay, I will give a reason for
this
and will provide
further
examples and explanations to support my viewpoint. The reason to consider
this
is that celebrities
work
in the media industries
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
can be focused on by a high volume of
people
.
In other words
,
people
who
work
in the media industries are in the spotlight more than those who
work
for the government. The channel on social media with a high level of participation by
people
comes with a large amount of money from sponsors. There is evidence to suggest that Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese football player and 5 Ballon d'Or Awards winner who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the highest number of followers
people
on Instagram is one of the wealthiest
people
in the world. The main demerit is that politicians have direct responsibility for the development of the country.
This
means that government officers should be focused on citizens. These problems can lead to the corruption within country.
According to
a recent research by Havard University, it emerged that if there is not enough salary for
people
who
work
in the government employment system,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
would be
50
Correct article usage
a 50
show examples
-70 per cent risk of dishonesty. So governments and individuals should find the right balance between these two areas. All things considered. it seems to me that the negative development of
this
trend slightly outweighs the positive.
Submitted by nine318 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear logical structure to your essay. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument. Use connecting words effectively to link ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction should paraphrase the question and outline your view or the direction of your essay, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant, developed examples or explanations. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with supporting details that illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task. Read the question carefully and ensure that your essay responds to all parts of the prompt. Each part of the question should be addressed with clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
It's important to provide relevant examples that support your arguments. Try to include specific examples and explanations rather than broad generalizations. Make sure your examples are directly tied to the topic and clearly illustrate your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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