Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

Some

people

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believe that family is the most precious thing which is the

people

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to who

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who

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whom

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you can rely upon things

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too

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However

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, in these modern days, families have grown apart and

people

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are not as close with their family members as they used to be earlier. There are multiple steps that can be taken and probable solutions to

this

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issue. In

this

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essay, I will attempt to explain

further

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reasons for

this

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issue.

Firstly

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people

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these days are getting occupied by work and studies,

as a result

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, they rarely can spend a lot of time with their family.

For instance

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, my brother worked as an architect in a reputable company that required him to work longer than other usual working hours.

Therefore

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, he can't devote as much time as he had to his family.

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, within these epochs of digitalization, each person possesses personal electronic devices, potentially leading to the entrenchment of addictive

behaviors

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behaviours

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and the neglect of interpersonal relationships.

For example

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, my mother who recently owned a smartphone, easily got drowned in her cell phone and forgot to interact with another family member daily.

On the other hand

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, we can undertake actions to execute

this

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behavior

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behaviour

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with, eating together at the dining table once or twice a week can foster a robust familial connection. To illustrate, my family established a tradition of convening for dinner every Friday evening at our residence, with the explicit stipulation that mobile devices are prohibited at the dining table.

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, planning activities together could build a strong bond between relatives. As an illustrative instance, my mother and I consistently partook in a weekly cinematic gathering every Sunday, contributing to the gradual fortification of our interpersonal bond. In conclusion, notwithstanding the palpable deficit in familial connection that I presently perceive, there exist remedial measures that can be undertaken to ameliorate

this

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circumstance. It is incumbent upon each family member to ardently embrace these initiatives, thereby fostering a more cohesive and enriching familial dynamic.

pnasywasina

Dec 19, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next, using a range of cohesive devices effectively.

task achievement

It is important to make your position clear throughout your response. Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing multiple reasons for the changing dynamics in family closeness and suggesting detailed ways for improvement.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancements
Work-life balance
Geographical distance
Face-to-face communication
Cultural shifts
Individualism
Family cohesion
Career-oriented
Digital platforms
Boom in social activities
Frequent family gatherings
Familial bonds

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Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

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