In recent years, the number of people travelling by air for business and pleasure has increased dramatically. Some people believe that air travel will continue to grow and that it will become easier, faster and cheaper. Others, however, believe that due to environmental pressures, flying is likely to become too expensive for most people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there are an enormous number of passengers travelling by
air
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
business trips and journeys, and
according to
certain
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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researches
Add a comma
researches,
show examples
air
traffic has doubled
last
15 years. Some experts believe that
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
transportation
industry continues its
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
contend that travelling by plane will become too costly because of ecological reasons. Personally, I hold the view that
air
transport will meet all ecological criteria and
this
sphere of
transportation
and logistics will
be undergone
Wrong verb form
undergo
show examples
by
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apply
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progressive development.
Firstly
, governments around the world are keen on developing local
air
traffic. That leads to fast, cheap and easy
flights
for consumers.
Moreover
, for local and short
flights
there is no need
on
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for
show examples
gigantic planes, which require a huge amount of fossil fuel.
Consequently
,
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
transportation
industry will create small boards with electric engines. Regarding
to
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apply
show examples
published reports, by 2035 a large proportion of
air
traffic will be provided by electric or hybrid planes.
Secondly
, there are plans
of
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to
show examples
transition from fossil fuel use to using biofuel created from agricultural plants.
In addition
,
British-American
Correct article usage
the British-American
show examples
company “ZeroAvia”
creates
Wrong verb form
created
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plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
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with hydrogen
engine
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engines
show examples
. In January
,
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apply
show examples
2023 there was its first
10-minutes
Correct your spelling
10-minute
successful flight. That all are going to decrease the amount of producing during the
flights
Change to a genitive case
flight's
flights'
show examples
greenhouse gases
such
as carbon dioxide.
On the other hand
,
air
transport generated 895 million tonnes of carbon dioxide in 2018. All projects mentioned above need substantial financial resources. New engines and planes will be constructed from highly-valued materials that, thereby, can entail
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
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increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
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in
show examples
air
flights
Change the noun form
flight
show examples
prices.
This
quandary demands significant intellectual efforts to solve. In conclusion, despite on existing dilemmas standing in front of
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
transportation
industry
Add a comma
industry,
show examples
I believe that
air
flights
is
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are
show examples
the best way to move fast, easily,
with
Correct word choice
and with
show examples
comfort and all uphill tasks needed to tackle will be coped.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Logical Structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon coherently, with sentences that logically flow from one to the next without leaps in reasoning or abrupt transitions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and Conclusion should clearly present the topic and your position, as well as summarise the main points and restate your opinion without repetition. The introduction is somewhat underdeveloped, and the conclusion could better encapsulate the essay's arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support Main Points with more detailed explanations, statistics, or real-world examples to make arguments more compelling. Include varying sentence structures and link ideas within and across paragraphs for greater clarity.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the Complete Response addresses all parts of the prompt fully. You may need to expand on certain areas to ensure equal coverage of the viewpoints presented and elaborate on your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on Clear Comprehensive Ideas by further developing complex thoughts and fully unpacking the implications and counterarguments to your points. Ideas are present but require more in-depth exploration to achieve a higher band score.
Task Achievement
Include more Relevant Specific Examples in your argument. Examples should be directly related to the points you are making and should work to substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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