Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is clear that
there are many discussions about sharing household
tasks
such
as cleaning and caring baby equally between
males
and females because of increasing women's working time. I completely agree that
housework
must be shared between them.
Firstly
, as we know, the role of robots which can help
people
to do
housework
in our life affects all work.
As a result
, spending time on household work has witnessed a decrease day by day.
Furthermore
,
people
don't like to be busy with the same repeatable
tasks
.
For example
, electronic gadgets
such
as vacuum cleaners, washing machines and dishwashers help wives and husbands manage their
housework
more easily.
Consequently
, passing the
tasks
to robots helps
males
to do these
tasks
such
as washing, cleaning and sweeping.
On the other hand
, both genders should improve themselves to win the competitive worker market.
In addition
, females became workers in several genres of engineering parallel with
males
.
For example
, women who work as developers must improve themselves on new technology.
Thus
,
males
should help their wives because of their future working life,
then
this
decision will increase the monthly income of the family.
Then
, the family can hire a cleaner and pass their
tasks
to him
while
they learn new tech. In conclusion,
people
in different cultures will discuss
this
topic for a long time.
Although
this
discussion depends on many factors
such
as country, religion and respect between wife and husband ,from my point of view
people
who have modern thoughts will agree with my opinion about the equality of
males
and females in
housework
.
Submitted by orxanmikayilov44 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Task Achievement: To improve your score further, make sure to directly address the prompt throughout the essay. While you did take a clear position, you could have further consolidated your arguments by providing more relevant examples pertaining to the sharing of household duties, rather than focusing broadly on technological advancements.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: To enhance coherence, create a stronger logical flow between ideas and paragraphs by using a range of cohesive devices effectively. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is developed throughout. For cohesion, work on improving paragraphing and use more linking phrases to connect ideas between sentences.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: