Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Toys
are a precious treasure of every child's life. These bring joy and happiness in
everyone's childhood. Some people give a plethora of Change preposition
to
toys
to their kids. Their
are certain merits of Replace the word
There
this
trend, however
it has some demerits as well. In Add a comma
however,
this
essay
I will discuss the pros and cons of giving so many Add a comma
essay,
toys
to youngsters. The first and foremost benefit of buying a number of toys
for juveniles is that it cutdowns
their screentime, and Correct your spelling
cut down
thus
, develops cognitive skills. Moreover
, by giving so many playthings parents encourage their children to play with toys
instead
of using phones and laptops which put
an adverse Verb problem
has
affect
on kid's eyesight and health. In Replace the word
effect
such
a way they will play with interesting toys
like puzzles, carrom
boards, and these will help them to improve their concentration and patience which eventually develop Correct word choice
and carrom
problem solving
skills in them. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
For example
, in an interview of
India's Change preposition
with
got talent show
contestants; they Correct your spelling
Got Talent Show
told
that the main reason Verb problem
said
of
their selection in Change preposition
for
show
was that most of them spent their childhood Add an article
the show
by
playing cardsChange preposition
apply
,
and solving brain teaser puzzles. Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, having numerous toys
will make difficult
for children to develop adaptation Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
skill
in future. Adjustment is an indispensable skill in life to survive anywhere in any condition. Youngsters who grow up Fix the agreement mistake
skills
with
having more than enough Change preposition
apply
toys
lack this
problem. Furthermore
, they will more
likely to get everything in excess which will give them problems. Add a missing verb
be more
For instance
, an international student in foreign
country needs to manage Add an article
a foreign
rents
, tuition Fix the agreement mistake
rent
fee
, and groceries with their Fix the agreement mistake
fees
part time
jobs. Add a hyphen
part-time
Thus
, youth with lack
of adjustment and adaptability will spend their money unwisely as they Correct article usage
a lack
became
habitual of getting everything in excess in their childhood. Wrong verb form
become
Therefore
giving so many toys
will be problematic for kids in their
future. In conclusion, Change the word
the
although
giving children a number of toys
helps them to develop some useful abilities like cognitive skills, this
phenomenon lead
to some adjustment problems in future as well.Change the verb form
leads
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay begins with a concise and clear introduction where the topic is paraphrased and the structure of the essay is outlined. The introduction in this essay is too long and could be more precise.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by planning the essay more carefully. Ensure that each paragraph deals with one main idea, and the progression of ideas is clear and logical. Although the essay touches upon relevant points, the transitions between them could be smoother.
supported main points
Support main points with clear and specific examples. The examples provided are somewhat relevant but could be detailed further to strengthen the argument. Instead of general statements, provide clear links to the question's subject matter.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages. While both aspects are discussed, ensure that the exploration of each is even and thorough.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid repetition and make sure each sentence adds value to the argument. Work on sentence structure for clarity.
relevant specific examples
Provide relevant, detailed examples to back up points made. While an example is given, aim for a stronger link between the example and the point it is supposed to illustrate.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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