Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purposes #school #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals

It is often said that the primary reason for educational institutions is to help young people become good workers and citizens rather than making use of them as people.

This

writer contends that schools should encourage children to be better at all aspects because youngsters necessitate good education systems to mature perfectly and society

also

requires good citizens and labourers. It is crucial to acknowledge that children are the most important members of civilization to gain the best education. In many nations around the world, government authorities formulate various procedures to foster education

such

as lowering tuition fees and devising more scholarships.

Therefore

, the world would emerge more superior individuals who bring a host of benefits for socially sustainable development. Denmark provides a pertinent example where juniors do not have to pay any fees for their studies, making

this

country become a state of happiness.

Furthermore

, the argument against benefiting schoolchildren hinges on the idea that civilization demands an increasing amount of workforce. On the grounds of industrialization, the requirement for people who are able to work is rising noticeably.

Consequently

, schools should prioritize turning youngsters into good workers.

Hence

, it is essential that transforming schoolchildren into good labourers is the top priority because of the current industrialization.

Thus

, it can be seen that the most vital function of educational organizations is transforming students into great labourers because society needs more members in the labour force and children

also

require inclusive curriculums.

As a result

this

function remains a superior benefit in the information age.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sat Jun 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve further, clarify the statement 'making use of them as people' as it is slightly unclear in this context. This will make your introduction more precise.

task achievement

Try to offer more broad-ranging examples to bolster your argument. While the Denmark example is effective, including additional examples from different countries or perspectives could enhance your argument further.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion does not introduce new ideas. The final sentence introduces the 'information age,' which wasn't specifically mentioned earlier.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, solid body paragraphs, and a coherent conclusion.

task achievement

Your use of the Denmark example is strong and relevant, demonstrating an understanding of real-world applications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

socialize
instilling values
tolerance
respect
cooperation
good citizenship
workforce
skills
curriculum
civic knowledge
governmental processes
responsibilities of citizenship
personal development
creativity
individual talents
individual growth
self-confident
innovative thinkers
dual role
nurturing passions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The schooling system could be a broad discussion topic for some open-minded people. Some people argue that school is a waste of time and other groups claim that school is fundamental for education.
6
band
Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
With the current globalization trend, boundaries between countries are becoming more blurred as people around the world consume the same media. Despite some possible drawbacks of this development, I still think the benefits outweigh the downsides.
<4
band
Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities.
A lot of people do not know or make friend their neighbours in large cities. The problems need solve and take care of by humans.
5
band
Some people think that to ensure a happier society, there should be only a small difference in the earninings between the poorest and the richest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, there are many economic and mental health issues. Some folks suggest that to tackle these problems, there should be a policy in nations which the wealth of the poorest and the richest citizens have a little gap. I totally disagree with this statement, as it causes people to lose their need to work hard and to eliminate their hopes for finantial growth.
5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.
Progressing technology and availability of electronic gadgets have resulted in spending excess time on cellphones or tablets, especially, among the younger generations. While some would argue that the overall impact of this trend has been positive, in this essay I would contend that the utilizing smartphones by school children would constitutes some potential risks and also explain some sources of this phenomenon.

Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities.

Some people think that to ensure a happier society, there should be only a small difference in the earninings between the poorest and the richest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.