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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

It is widely observed that many
people
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 encourage high
school
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 graduates to take a gap
year
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 for working or travelling before going to
university
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.
Although
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this
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 idea can be highly beneficial, it may
also
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 have certain drawbacks.
This
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 issue will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking
such
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 a break among young
people
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. One significant advantage of
this
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 decision is that it allows young
people
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 to relax before embarking on their higher academic studies. Many adolescents feel exhausted after going through a tough phase during the final
year
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 of high
school
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.
Moreover
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, taking time to explore the real world can help students decide which major suits them best.
For instance
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, individuals who engage in social activities during a gap
year
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 gain greater confidence in deciding their academic paths than those who proceed directly to
university
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.
On the other hand
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, taking a job or travelling after graduating from secondary
school
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 results in a reluctance to attend
university
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. Once young
people
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 begin working, they often enjoy the independence that comes with earning money.
According to
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 a recent survey, about 41% of high
school
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 graduates who entered the workforce prefer to remain in their jobs.
This
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 is because their salary allows them to afford many things they want.
In addition
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, taking a
year
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 off for travelling may influence them to spend time on leisure and adventure
instead
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 of going to college. In conclusion, encouraging young
people
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 to have a
year
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’s work or travel before entering
university
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 helps them prepare better academic life.
However
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, it has adverse effects, particularly being overly comfortable with their jobs and travelling lifestyle, which diminishes their motivation to pursue higher education.

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improvement
Add more real life examples for each idea and use small facts or numbers to back them up.
improvement
Use more linking words to show how ideas go from one to another, like also, but, however.
structure
Clear layout with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Shows a balance of good and bad points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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