IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart below illustrates the information about the surveys of absenteeism in certain
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 from
Euro
Correct article usage
the Euro
show examples
 during 2000, 2005 and 2010. The investigation presents the
causes
Use synonyms
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
 employees did not go to work.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are many
differents
Correct your spelling
differences
show examples
 in the percentages of the
reasons
Use synonyms
 for absence.
While
Linking Words
 the number of healthy
reasons
Use synonyms
 was the highest, the opposite was seen in the stress. Starting with sick
causes
Use synonyms
 and necessary role in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 were the regular
reasons
Use synonyms
. With nearly 45% of illness
Use synonyms
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 in 2000 was the largest, followed by the figure in 2005 at 40%, and 2010 less 10% than 2000 at 35%, and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
of total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rate was majority at 114% .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
database
Correct article usage
the database
show examples
 in family responsibilities,
similarly
Linking Words
, with the highest
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
 to 2000,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 23%, more
3
Change preposition
than 3
show examples
% than both 2005 and 2010 which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shared the same level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 needs, unexpected problems and stress were less common
reasons
Use synonyms
. The stressful
Use synonyms
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 with the number total of 24%
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
, which
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 nearly one-sixth of the most popular reason.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 needs in 2010 at 24%, more 10% and 3% than 2000 and 2005 respectively.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, unpredictable issues had the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2005 and 2010 were approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
14%,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doubled
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 7%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words causes, reasons with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: