It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
While
some hold the idea that the disappearance of animal creatures is inevitable as it is an essential part of nature, there is no need to try to save them from elimination. I completely disagree with this
viewpoint as I believe people can create positive outcomes.
Firstly
, animal destruction can be reduced by changing communities’ behaviours. In other words
, one of the main reasons causing extinction is human activities, such
as urbanization and deforestation resulting in the lack of settlements and food for animal species, consequently
contributing to animal disappearance. If individuals are fully aware of the given point, they can adjust their attitudes towards environmental issues and prioritize environmental protection, subsequently
, protecting dangerous creatures. For example
, the Chinese population realized the decrease in the number of pandas was caused by deforestation, and people there decided to raise funds to create panda settlements, which helped to make the situation better.
Secondly
, shortages in government regulation are another factor fostering creature annihilation. Without strict obligations, the amount of species hunted by human beings has significantly risen. If authorities exert appropriate rules, forcing hunters to give up their bad actions, more and more animals
may be safer, contributing to preventing extermination.
In conclusion, whereas
numerous people believe that the strive of human beings to save animals
from becoming extinct is not effective , I strongly do not agree with it as I presume that communities are totally able to prevent animals
from destruction. When creatures are on the cusp of extinction, individuals and authorities should take action together to not only save animals
but also
protect biodiversity from losingSubmitted by nguyenmysam722001 on
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
Develop ideas fully in body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details; this essay presents ideas that are relevant, but they could be more fully explained and supported with specific examples.
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Directly address the question throughout the response; the essay could better reiterate and respond to the specific prompt in each paragraph for better task achievement.
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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments. While the essay includes an example about pandas, further diverse and illustrative examples would strengthen the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.