Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. Why do families encourage their youngsters to study abroad? how could they fully benefit from studying abroad?

Education
is a major factor that can determine a person’s future
besides
social status in the community and since
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
education
overseas has become more accessible,
people
started to encourage their youngsters to study abroad. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we will highlight the reasons for
this
phenomenon and how
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
fully benefit from studying abroad. In modern society,
education
is developing day by day and with the progress of
since
Correct your spelling
science
show examples
and technology we all now live in a small world and it is quite common to study abroad. To start with travelling to another
country
will definitely open one`s mind to other cultures, technologies and many other aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
life. Attending college in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
would enhance our experiences and would help in
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
our personalities to become more confident.
Moreover
, the rapid progress in
education
in some foreign countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
quality
education
and
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
range of courses
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
useful for better career opportunities .As mentioned earlier a better
education
promises
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
wider job opportunities which we all seek for our youngsters and dearests. Doctors ,engineers and many other professions would be highly paid and graded in the community when getting a degree from a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
foreign
country
that offers
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
excellent
education
services in these particular specializations.
On the other hand
, transportation and social media made our world look like a small village where we all can be together without worrying about the distances or the places. Nowadays you can be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
daily contact with your youngsters
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are in
far away
Correct your spelling
faraway
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
with a click
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
a button via
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
,skype and many other new means of technology that can facilitate
this
.
Last
but not least ,you can simply book a flight ticket or take a train ride to visit and ensure the safety of your offspring abroad .
To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
people
send their minors to other countries to impart knowledge that gives enormous advantages to their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.It has been always a good choice to send young
people
abroad
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
betterment
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by m.f0562173032 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
It is important to ensure that paragraphs are logically connected, presenting ideas in a clear and organized manner. Transitions between ideas could be improved for enhanced readability and flow. Consider using more varied and sophisticated linking words.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good practice; however, the introduction could be more engaging by providing a stronger hook, and the conclusion could reiterate the main points more effectively.
Task Achievement
While the essay addresses the main task and elaborates on reasons and benefits, some points could be better developed with additional details and specific examples. Aim to deepen the analysis of each point rather than simply stating them.
Task Achievement
Ensure that ideas within each paragraph contribute directly to the paragraph's main point. This focus will provide more depth and clarity to your argument, rather than listing broad statements.
Task Achievement
To fully address the prompt, make sure examples are specific, relevant, and well-explained. These details can help illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: