There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s world, young people are under significant pressure to succeed academically. Some people argue that non-academic
subjects
, such
as physical education
and cooking, should be removed from the school curriculum to allow students
to focus more on academic subjects
. However
, others believe that these subjects
play a valuable role in education
. This
essay will discuss both viewpoints.
Firstly
, subjects
like physical education
and cooking are equally important as subjects
like science and mathematics, as they help students
manage stress and achieve a balanced lifestyle. Physical education
, for example
, promotes physical health and fitness, which can improve concentration and reduce anxiety. Additionally
, these subjects
provide opportunities for students
to discover talents and interests outside of traditional academics. For instance
, professional athletes like Ronaldo achieved success through their skills in sports, which were nurtured through physical training.
On the other hand
, some parents feel that students
should prioritize core academic subjects
, such
as science, math, and chemistry, to secure careers in competitive fields like engineering and medicine. Given the intense competition in these areas, students
often feel pressured to excel academically, which can lead to stress and mental health issues.
In conclusion, while
academic subjects
are essential for certain career paths, non-academic subjects
also
contribute to students
’ overall
development. I believe that a balanced approach, which includes both academic and non-academic subjects
, is the most beneficial for students
. It is likely that, in the future, more students
will choose to pursue a variety of subjects
to support their personal and professional growth.Submitted by maha.wed on
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task achievement
To increase clarity, consider adding more specific examples or case studies to support your points further, particularly on how extracurricular subjects contribute to career readiness.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, perhaps by drawing clearer connections between non-academic benefits and their long-term effects on student success.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, enhancing its task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a clear standpoint, which strengthens coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear structure with distinct paragraphs discussing specific ideas, aiding in logical flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.