Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Globalization
has had a considerable effect on the world
the over last
few decades. While
some people
believe that this
effect has destroyed the national identity as globalization
is creating a world
of one culture
. I am agree
with Change the verb form
agree
this
statement and in this
essay, I will explain the reasons to support this
statement.
On the one hand, there is the issue of entertainment as the people
of many countries are not interested in their local entertainment as they have a variety of entertainment from different countries due to
globalization
and technology and this
can be a consequence of the local culture
. In addition
to this
, there is the
problem with language as Correct article usage
a
people
all over the world
prefer to speak English and they are not speaking their native languages and it can be serious
issue Add an article
a serious
with
in the future as Change preposition
apply
people
will change the way of their communication.
Despite this
, due to
globalization
banks are interested in cooperation for lending money and this
prevents local businesses from getting money and they are not getting opportunities to expand their business. In addition
to this
, individuals are forgetting their culture
as well as
following other cultures' traditions and practices which have a negative influence on societies.
In conclusion, globalization
brings many merits to the world
but it has negative implications on the national identity people
have to focus on their local culture
. If we allow globalization
to continue to dominate local cultures, in the future we will have a better world
.Submitted by sirat
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Your introduction is somewhat clear, but lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your position. Ensure that your introduction succinctly states your view on the topic and previews the points you plan to make.
Task Achievement
Your development of ideas is inadequate. Ideas should be fully developed with clear, relevant examples. Be sure to expand on each point you make with specific details and examples to support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of the essay is fairly basic. You need to work on logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs, using a range of cohesive devices to link ideas, and creating clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices to manage the relation between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using synonyms, pronouns or parallel structures to improve the connectivity of ideas.
Language (Grammar & Vocabulary)
Be sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and correct use of vocabulary, as errors can hinder the clarity of your argument and affect your overall score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.