Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
this
days many Correct determiner usage
These
people
believe that children
using a computer every day can have a negative impact.
In this
essay
we will discuss the negative effects that might be caused by using a computer for a long time on the body and the mind.
There are many reasons why Add a comma
essay,
people
think that computers are dangerous, especially for a kid during his development.
Firstly
, it is a common opinion that watching a monitor for more than 5 hours every day without taking any breaks might cause big issues in the eyes such
as irritation and dryness.
Secondly
, a child can develop a sort of addiction due to
all the social networks such
Facebook
, Instagram or Snapchat. and might cause isolation and make it harder to talk with real Change preposition
as Facebook
people
and find new friends.
On the other side there are people
like John Smith from the oxford academy
, who think that computers can have positive effects on our Correct your spelling
Oxford Academy
children
if they have been taught how to use them properly, indeed studies and researches
confirm that a kid if guided by an adult can solve homework in a short time taking shorts breaks to don’t damage the eyes.
Fix the agreement mistake
research
Secondly
, they can improve their social skills using the right communication methods.
In conclusion
I agree that computers have negative Add a comma
conclusion,
impacts
on our Fix the agreement mistake
impact
children
because nowadays every family has a computer at home and because it is a quite new technology even adults don’t know how to use it properly, as consequence
they can’t teach their Add an article
a consequence
children
.Submitted by ste.deblasi.97 on
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task response
It's crucial to maintain a clear position throughout the essay. While you presented two sides of the argument, the overall stance needs to be consistent.
task response
Support your main points with detailed examples. The mention of John Smith and the Oxford Academy needs substantiation with more specific information.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure which makes it difficult to follow. Each paragraph should contain a single clear idea that is developed and connected back to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effective in presenting the thesis and summarizing the main points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
When presenting viewpoints, ensure that your transitions are smooth and ideas naturally progress from one to the other
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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