Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is quite common these days that the young are much influenced by peer pressure. It is my belief that the positive effects of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon could certainly offset its disadvantages. There are several drawbacks to peer pressure. A common reason is that young
people
Use synonyms
’s mentality is negatively affected, which can lead to worry or depression. In fact, working or studying with better students can make young
people
Use synonyms
uncomfortable.
For example
Linking Words
, when I study in a class with a lot of classmates who learn much better than me, I feel very pressured and ashamed. Another negative aspect can be that the youth often feel uncomfortable with their appearance.
This
Linking Words
means that if peers just pay attention too much attention to appearance and make judgments, young
people
Use synonyms
can feel uneasy and try to be as fashionable as possible, which can be very costly.
However
Linking Words
, in spite of these negative effects, peer pressure can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that young
people
Use synonyms
have opportunities and environments to develop themselves better. In fact, if young
people
Use synonyms
are surrounded by good
people
Use synonyms
, they can learn from them
such
Linking Words
as trying anything new or discovering new ideas to help them overcome some difficult problems.
For example
Linking Words
, my colleagues in my brother’s company work productively and solve problems quickly;
therefore
Linking Words
, my brother day by day works more effectively and productively, and he has just been promoted to manager. In conclusion, it’s common that young
people
Use synonyms
are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by peers.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
can make them sometimes stressed, there can be a lot of benefits in helping young
people
Use synonyms
to have motivation to grow and succeed.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by linking ideas more effectively. Utilize a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Avoid abrupt transitions between points.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the task, making sure to address all parts of the prompt. Develop ideas fully and provide examples that directly support the key points. Strive for clear and elaborated arguments throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: