Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
It is quite common these days that the young are much influenced by peer pressure. It is my belief that the positive effects of
this
phenomenon could certainly offset its disadvantages.
There are several drawbacks to peer pressure. A common reason is that young people
’s mentality is negatively affected, which can lead to worry or depression. In fact, working or studying with better students can make young people
uncomfortable. For example
, when I study in a class with a lot of classmates who learn much better than me, I feel very pressured and ashamed. Another negative aspect can be that the youth often feel uncomfortable with their appearance. This
means that if peers just pay attention too much attention to appearance and make judgments, young people
can feel uneasy and try to be as fashionable as possible, which can be very costly.
However
, in spite of these negative effects, peer pressure can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that young people
have opportunities and environments to develop themselves better. In fact, if young people
are surrounded by good people
, they can learn from them such
as trying anything new or discovering new ideas to help them overcome some difficult problems. For example
, my colleagues in my brother’s company work productively and solve problems quickly; therefore
, my brother day by day works more effectively and productively, and he has just been promoted to manager.
In conclusion, it’s common that young people
are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by peers. While
this
can make them sometimes stressed, there can be a lot of benefits in helping young people
to have motivation to grow and succeed.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by linking ideas more effectively. Utilize a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Avoid abrupt transitions between points.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the task, making sure to address all parts of the prompt. Develop ideas fully and provide examples that directly support the key points. Strive for clear and elaborated arguments throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite