The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development ?

#tv #internet #opportunity #people #development

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The

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and the internet provide

opportunity

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opportunities

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for

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ordinary people to become famous.Is

this

Linking Words

a positive or a negative development ? Nowadays part of some people are getting popular

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with

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shows and media.

Linking Words

addition

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addition,

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popularity includes a lot of benefits, one of them are money from content and contracts. But the coin has another side. It is

danger

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a danger

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famous

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a famous

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person’s

life

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. Because of envy. As it is obvious from the internet, celebrities earn a huge amount of cash from using their face in advertisements and if the famous person is

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a super

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super star

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superstar

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, there will be more demand for his name in companies products.

For example

Linking Words

, Cristiano Ronaldo

which

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who

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is the best footballer uses his appearance in things and

earn

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earns

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from

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apply

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that

Correct determiner usage

apply

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3 million

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apply

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dollars every month. Unless

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apply

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popular figures risk

with

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apply

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their

life

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. In the same

way

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way,

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their risks

justified

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are justified

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with money. But

life

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is more important than money and from the media, you can see how celebs lost their

life

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For example

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20th

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the 20th

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century, John Kennedy who was

very

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a very

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noticeable president in the USA, was killed by someone because of his popularity. In conclusion,

the

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apply

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fame has

good

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a good

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part for people because of

salary

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the salary

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from deals, but

also

Linking Words

make

Verb problem

apply

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risk

Correct subject-verb agreement

risks

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celeb’s

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a celeb’s

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life

Use synonyms

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Wed Dec 20 2023

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task achievement

You need to provide a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and states your thesis. Also, make sure to include a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay lacks a cohesive structure and clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the point you will discuss therein. Logical connectors should be used to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

task achievement

You should support your main points with more elaborated examples and explanations. Also, ensure that your examples are relevant and directly support the argument you are making.

task achievement

The development of ideas is uneven and lacks depth. Expand on the potential benefits and drawbacks of being famous with more specific details to create a balanced argument.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use a range of linking words to structure your essay more coherently and to help the reader understand the relationship between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

209 words

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The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsible of individuals to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more recources. to what extend do you agree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?