You have been working for a company for some time, and other rival companies are willing to employ you with a higher salary for all the practical experience you have gained. Write a letter to your company manager and in your letter • Explain the situation • Say what you would like the manager to do (increase the salary etc.) • Say what action you would take in case the manager fails to meet your demands Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#company #time #companies #salary #manager #situation #action #case #demands #addresses

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Hello Mark, hope

this

letter finds you well. First of all, I would like to iterate how much I am enjoying working with you and

this

company

However

, I have been approached by another

company

Polestar

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to join them as

Engineering

Correct article usage

an Engineering

show examples

Manager. They are willing to provide me with a salary of 70,000 GBP per annum, which will be an increment of 20%. Not only that, they will be providing me with a

company

car

together with

other benefits. But most importantly, they will put me in charge and manage a team of 30 engineers designing

next generation

Add a hyphen

next-generation

show examples

EV vehicles. My reason for

this

letter is to seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

payrise

Correct your spelling

pay rise

show examples

of 20% so it matches the offer I'm getting, as I ideally would like to stay and continue working with you. With my 10 years of experience, I really hope

this

is something you can really consider. Unfortunately, if

this

is not possible, I will be left with no choice but to leave and join the new

company

. Thank you for your consideration.

Submitted by Nezzy on Tue Oct 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider separating the paragraph into two, with one focusing on the offer you received and the other on your request and intentions.

task achievement

Be sure to clearly specify what position and compensation you are aiming for if the salary is to be increased, to make your letter more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The letter is clear and well-organized, with a polite opening and closing, which enhances readability.

task achievement

The writer has clearly outlined the situation, the offer received, and the desired outcome in terms of a pay increase, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

175 words

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Write about the following topic: One of the major problems that faces today's governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. what are advantage and disadvantage for both individual and companies to shopping online?

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