The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#sales #five #phone #brands #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart compares the changes in sales of five different phone companies in the world within a 4 years period from 2009 to 2013

Overall

, it can be seen that the two dominant companies experienced a position replacement. The majority of the surveyed companies showed upward trends with only two exceptions being

Nokia

and LG. Having overtaken the worldwide market in 2009 with nearly 450

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

products purchased,

Nokia

witnessed a drastically declined after 2011,

ended

Wrong verb form

ending

show examples

apporximately

Correct your spelling

approximately

half of its peak 4 years before.

Similarly

, LG with the beginning statistics of over 120 units sold, which is about one-fourth that of

Nokia

at the same time. In the following years, LG

user’s

Fix the agreement mistake

users’

show examples

consumpsion graduallly

Correct your spelling

consumption gradually

decreased by around 50

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

units.

In contrast

to the negative growth seen

Change preposition

show examples

the former champion in the market, Samsung whose starting point stood at around 30

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

sales fewer than

Nokia

in 2013, dramatically surged up to twice the amount of

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, surpassing its counterpart’s highest point at sharply 450

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

phones sold in 2013. Apple

also

followed the same rise, gaining over 350% growth and

ended

Wrong verb form

ending

show examples

at roughly 150

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

units purchases.

In contrast

to the former two’s

skyrocketting

Correct your spelling

skyrocketing

, ZTE despite

also

witnessed

Wrong verb form

witnessing

show examples

growth, still

sood

Correct your spelling

stood

at below 100

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

sales with

minor

Correct article usage

a minor

show examples

increase.

Submitted by lyhuongclc on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in contrast".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words nokia, millions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Advertisements play a major role on TV in market economics. Despite the benefits of such information, many people criticize the role of TV advertising. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many working people get little or no execrise either during the working day or in their free time, and have helth problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, girls and boys are studied in different schools rather than in the same schools. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this.